Woman shares ‘toxic’ list of rules her ‘controlling’ ex gave her including NEVER drinking & being home by 9pm
A WOMAN has revealed the “toxic” list her “controlling” ex boyfriend gave to her before she left home for university.
The woman shared a screenshot of the message he sent her on TikTok, which included ordering her to never drink and to run every outfit past him.
In a video captioned “i wish i was joking”, the woman read out each of 11 baffling rules she claims he gave her.
She said: “I thought it would be funny to do a reading of the rules my crazy, controlling ex-boyfriend sent me before leaving for college.”
Rules included never turning off her Snapchat location, staying away from all guys and to never take off the ring he gave her.
In response to the rule of “approve all outfits you wear past me or my mum”, the woman responded in the video: “I don’t see what you or your mum have to do with what I wear.”
The ex boyfriend also alarmingly told her to be in her dorm “by 9pm every night and FaceTime me so I know you are alone.”
He also banned “crop tops and tight clothing.”
After her video racked up over 2.7million views, she did several follow-up clips explaining how people can get help if they have experienced similar toxic behaviour.
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She also apologised if the first video came across as insensitive to some viewers.
She said: “I just want to say that behaviour is considered abuse.
“That’s considered emotionally controlling and abusive, and if you are in an abusive relationship, domestic violence, anything like that – there are tons of help resources and hotlines you can call.”
Many people took to the comments to call out the ex partner’s behaviour, to offer support or to say they had experienced similar abuse.
One person said: “I’m so sorry you had to go through something this horrible.”
Another added: “This is so scary.”
A third wrote: “This whole thing breaks my heart, I’m glad you got out of that.”
HOW YOU CAN GET HELP
Women’s Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
- Always keep your phone nearby.
- Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
- If you are in danger, call 999.
- Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
- Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
- If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
- Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – messageinfo@supportline.org.uk.
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service available. from 10am to noon.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.