My stepson is driving a wedge between me and my fiancée with his lies
DEAR DEIDRE: MY stepson is driving a wedge between me and my fiancée.
I’ve been in his life for almost two years, and since meeting him, I feel he’s never been happy about my relationship with his mum
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He’s 12, I’m 42 and my partner is 39. We have caught him lying a lot – up to three or four times a day.
Sometimes they’re white lies, like about brushing his teeth, but other times they’re far more serious.
He once told my partner I’d hit him when I caught him smoking.
She didn’t believe him the first few times, but the more I’ve complained to my fiancée about his behaviour, the more I feel she is getting fed up with me.
I understand there has been a lot of change for him to get used to. Before, it was just him and his mum.
But I’m worried she and I may not have a future together if we can’t sort it out.
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DEIDRE SAYS: His behaviour is most likely a cry for attention.
He may feel threatened, and is worried about his relationship with his mum, now that you’re in the picture.
Give him and your partner some quality time together. Hopefully once he is reassured, the lying will stop.
Be careful not to alienate your partner by constantly complaining about her son. Continue to express your concerns and emphasise that you want to help her son.
If the lying goes on, get free confidential advice from Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222).