My distant lover wants marriage but I enjoy cheating
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been with my long-distance girlfriend for 15 years and now she’s putting pressure on me to get married.
She’s African and I see her when I go to her homeland on business.
We talk most weeks online but she wants to come to live in the UK.
I’m a red-blooded male of 35 and I’ve never been faithful to her — but she doesn’t know that.
When I’m in this country I go out with my mates most Friday and Saturday nights and any woman I can pull is fair game. I also see a married woman once a week for sex.
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I like my life. I love my girlfriend but she has never been to the UK and I don’t think she’d fit in.
She’s 31 and starting to put pressure on me to make wedding plans.
I don’t want to marry her.
Should I tell her that I’ve been unfaithful to her to get her off my back?
DEIDRE SAYS: There is little point in you hurting her unnecessarily by adding in the fact you’re unfaithful, but if you don’t see a future with her, it is only fair to tell her.
When you next go to Africa, explain that marriage isn’t in your plans and it would be better for her to find somebody who wants what she does.
My support pack Ending A Relationship will help you to convey the message.
You’re risking your sexual health by sleeping with so many people. There are free tests available. Visit Sexual Health (sh.uk) for details.
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