My partner allows her kids to get away with everything including back-chatting me
DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner takes more notice of her kids and their opinions than mine and I’m at breaking point.
We are both 42 and moved in together a year ago.
I have two kids from a previous relationship and she has three who live with us.
The oldest is 15 and she rules the roost.
The youngest, 11, has just started his new school and is already in trouble.
I explained to him that he needs to make a good impression with the teachers. His big sister butted in, saying, “You’re not his dad. Leave him alone.”
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Yesterday he was pretending to be ill but when I told him to get dressed, his older brother then got involved and said, “Can’t you see he’s sick?”
My partner stood there shrugging.
My kids wouldn’t dream of back-chatting me this way yet my partner thinks it’s OK.
We are barely speaking at the moment. I think I’m done.
DEIDRE SAYS: Her children are most certainly challenging you, but I’m also concerned about the one who is feigning sickness this early in the term.
There’s some reason he doesn’t want to attend school.
Talk to your partner about your concerns – and later, about the older children.
They will all benefit from clear boundaries which you can agree together.
My support pack Stepfamily Problems will be useful.
Couples counselling will help you decide if you should stay together. Check out tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1975).
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