West Point replaces mission statement with dancing mule Tik Tok
US MILITARY ACADEMY, WEST POINT, N.Y. – The United States Military Academy (USMA) at West Point is enjoying a surge in popularity after replacing its entire mission statement with a hilarious TikTok video of its mascot mule dancing.
West Point has recently suffered criticism for removing “duty, honor, country” from its mission statement. But USMA spokesperson Col. Shaun Carver said, “What really surprised us was that somebody actually read the mission statement at all. Who does that? Even at training meetings we blow right through that slide and skip ahead to watching football team videos.”
Carver emphasized that some of West Point’s critics are apparently unaware that “Duty, Honor, Country” remains the USMA motto. Or that the nine previous changes to the mission statement were routine events and usually ignored, like most staff work.
To enhance strategic messaging, a panel of senior West Point staff sought a replacement for the mission statement with a more modern and relatable description of the USMA environment. “The clear winner from that panel,” Carver said, “was a dancing mule video.”
The 25-second video shows “Stryker,” one of two USMA mascot mules, jumping excitedly and shaking his head just before his morning feeding. “It holds my attention and makes me smile,” Carver said, “that never happens with a mission statement.”
The only problem the panel faced, said Carver, was picking which mule video to post. “We have another one of Stryker doing a really cute dance and shaking his hind quarters at brushing time. He’s got better moves than most instructors and staff here.”
In a separate letter for USMA graduates, Superintendent Lt. Gen. Steve Gilland said, “West Point has led the nation in military education since 1802. Now we will lead in the field of distracting people with adorable animal videos. Cats can’t keep getting all the attention.”
Some observers applaud the move. “This takes the air out of complaints about its old-style mission statement,” said media relations expert Sandra Wielding. She said that by using the historical mascot the video says, “West Point: come for tradition, stay for the dance party.’ It’s very media-savvy.”
With over 200,000 views on its first two days of launch, the video is West Point’s most popular posting ever. It surpassed the previous record for a video compilation of graduates emotionally overreacting to any kind of sports win over the Naval Academy. Officials believe the TikTok post also influenced a 30% increase in visits to the West Point recruiting website, with a remarkable uptick in visits from the People’s Republic of China.
Carver said West Point is ready for more criticism as the nation discusses potential security issues with the TikTok platform. “We’ll see how much intelligence work they get done in Beijing while they’re captivated and laughing their asses off by Stryker’s dance,” he said.
Bull Winkle is a retired Army mule skinner and author of an untold number of mission statements.