Gambling destroyed my relationship

DEAR DEIDRE: After an on-off relationship lasting 15 years, my partner has recently split up with me.

Her gambling habit has finally destroyed our relationship.

Even though we are apart, she still gets in touch asking me for money on an almost weekly basis. She gives me false hope that we may be in a good enough place to get back together.

But in the background, her son and the daughter we had together both tell me it’s not a good idea because of all the arguments.

It created a terrible atmosphere in the house.

I am a man of 47 and she is 45. Her son is seven and our daughter is 15. I know that until she deals with her gambling, we will fall back into the same unhealthy patterns.

She has huge debts and I’ve got myself in financial trouble trying to help her.

I know I might sound like a mug, but at the slightest hint that she is getting better and dealing with her demons I am ready to move back in a heartbeat.

But when I am really honest with myself, I can see that she is actually still in total denial about her addiction.

DEIDRE SAYS: Gambling puts a terrible strain on relationships.

You’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster and while I am sorry your relationship has now ended, nothing will improve while she denies she has an addiction.

Only she can decide to get help. You can’t do it for her. She is a bad role model for her children, too.

They can feel isolated, angry and depressed by what is happening and will need reassurance. Please contact familylives.org.uk for guidance.

Find help at gamcare.org.uk (0808 8020 133). My support packs Gambling Problems and Solving Debt Problems may be useful to you.