My wife is desperate to sleep with a bigger man

DEAR DEIDRE: Ever since my wife complained about my penis size, things have been strained between us.

Now I’m worried I’ll never be enough to satisfy her.

I’m 46, my wife is 41 and we’ve been together for 13 years.

It’s fair to say that my penis is on the small side. Even erect it doesn’t grow beyond four inches.

While I know my size isn’t ideal, I’ve never let it impact our sex life and my wife has never seemed to mind. From foreplay to toys, satisfying her has always been a top priority.

Yet the other day, out of nowhere, she suddenly started talking about how much she wanted to sleep with a “big” man.

When I questioned her, she said I was tiny, and that she wanted to remember what it felt like to have someone “hit the spot”.

Since then she hasn’t let it go. Every time we have sex she’s making comments and while I try to do my best, it never seems to be enough.

On many occasions, I’ve asked her what I can do to please her, but she keeps brushing me off and refusing to talk about it.

Not once has she offered me any kind of reassurance and it’s starting to get me down.

All I want is to feel loved by her again, but I’m worried I’ll never be enough.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your wife’s comments sound clumsy and unkind.

Try to remember that size isn’t the secret to a female orgasm. Only a minority of women can climax through intercourse alone.

However, you deserve to feel loved and desired by your partner, and so this needs to be addressed.

Tell your wife how you feel, highlighting how hurtful she has been.

Explain that if she refuses to work through this then realistically your marriage is on the line.

Consider some relationship counselling. You can find this through Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1975).

If you’re still struggling with low self-esteem, my support pack Penis Size can help.