Stacey Solomon on baby number three with Joe Swash and being proud of her pregnancy body
ONE of the most refreshing things about Stacey Solomon is that there are never any delusions of grandeur. When she arrives for our interview she’s make-up-free, wearing leggings and a sweater and clutching a now-empty polystyrene box of fish and chips, which she’s eaten en route in an Uber she booked herself.
As celebrities go, she’s as real as they come, so it’s no surprise that she doesn’t pretend that being pregnant (as she currently is with her third child) is anything other than a slog.
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“There are some women who love being pregnant,” she says. “Like my stepmum. When she was pregnant with my little brother she was an earth mother. Her hair got longer and she was like a bright ray of sunshine in this happy state of zen.
“I don’t feel like that. My hair has gone grey – honestly, it has! I’ve been horrifically sick and I’m so tired. Obviously I’m grateful and I wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m not elated, but I’m not in love with being pregnant.”
She has far less energy than her previous pregnancies, which she puts down to age. She’s still only 29, but it’s been seven years since she was last pregnant.
“I’m just trying to enjoy it while I’m awake, which isn’t a lot,” she says. “Joe says it’s like I’ve been in a coma for months.”
Joe is, of course, Joe Swash, Stacey’s 37-year-old actor- presenter boyfriend of three and half years. When Stacey broke the news to him that she was pregnant with their first child together, his initial reaction was shock. While a baby was always part of their long-term plan, neither of them expected it to happen quite when it did.
“I showed him the positive pregnancy test and he laughed, like: ‘Are you joking?’ He said: ‘But I haven’t seen you in ages!’ So, yeah, we were both quite shocked.”
Stacey points to her growing bump and jokes that since taking the big step of buying a house and moving in together in October, things have quickly “spiralled out of control”.
She adds: “We were conscious that it’s what we wanted, but we weren’t specifically looking at a time for it to happen, so it was a really lovely surprise. He was over the moon and it was
just lovely actually.”
Stacey doesn’t want to reveal when the baby is due, but says she’s over the early bouts of sickness and that they are planning on finding out the sex, which is normally at the 20-week scan.
With three boys already between them (Stacey has Zachary, who turns 11 this week, and Leighton, six, from two previous relationships, while Joe has Harry, 11, with his ex-partner), you might assume they’d rather like a girl this time.
“At first, I did think: ‘Oh, it would be exciting to have a girl’. But then I started to worry – what if it is? I don’t know girls! I know how to do boys. I’ve known boys for 11 years! And the boys are hoping for another little brother, because they’re at an age where they’re like: ‘Eugh, girls!’ Seriously, though, as long as it’s healthy, whatever it is we genuinely don’t mind.”
The baby will add another dimension to their big, blended family, which Stacey says, while not without its challenges – again, it’s not in her nature to pretend everything is perfect – works well overall.
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“We do worry a lot about our children because they’re not from normal 2.4-kids families. So me and Joe have been really conscious not to move too fast, and it was only when the kids seemed to be fully on board and pushing for it that we thought: ‘OK, we can do this’.
“It doesn’t mean everything is blimmin’ fantastic all the time, but fundamentally the kids are happy, we’re happy and that’s exactly where we want to be. The kids adore Joe. They’ve got their dads and they know he’s not replacing anybody. He’s just another really lovely friend who loves them.
“And it’s the same for Joe and his son. Our door is always open. We want to be as much a blended family as we possibly can and I think it’s working.”
That said, the two of them do parent very differently and Stacey thinks the baby will put this to the test.
“We are absolutely, completely different. Joe is the fun parent, which is what tends to happen when you’re not the primary carer. You hardly get to see your children and so when you do, you want to give them everything and have a great time. Joe is that parent and he’s brilliant at it.
“I’m the one the kids can’t wait to get away from to go and visit the other parent. I’m the one who’s like: ‘We will eat this, we will go to bed at this time, we won’t play computer games during the week. No, no, no.’
“But I think when we have a child together, he’ll be different. He sees the foundations I’ve put in with my children and how they behave, and I think he appreciates that.
“And I also know I’ll have to let go a little bit, because it’s not all about what I want. Children do have to have some light relief and if it comes from their dad, then that’s absolutely fine by me.”
There are no worries that Joe won’t muck in with his fair share of the baby duties.
“When I had Zach, I was so exhausted after a traumatic birth that for the first couple of days my mum just held him on my boob in the middle of the night,” she says. “I know that sounds really weird, but I just wasn’t with it at all. I told Joe and he was like: ‘I’ll do that. I can do that for you!’ And I thought: ‘Oh my god, he loves me as much as my mum!’”
Stacey is also mindful of the postnatal depression she battled after Zach’s birth when she was just 18, and has taken steps to put a support system in place should it affect her again.
“My first pregnancy was just alien to me. I don’t know if I was in denial about the whole thing because I was so young. I don’t remember ever feeling pregnant. But I know that postnatal depression doesn’t discriminate between whether you’re in a good or bad place in life – it can affect anyone.
“So I don’t for one minute think that just because my circumstances might be what are classed as ‘better’ now, that I’m not susceptible. I know I need to stay on top of it and notice that if I do feel myself going a certain way, then I can get the help I need.”
Stacey’s Loose Women colleague Nadia Sawalha has offered to be a doula (female birthing partner) and has suggested she might try having the baby at home. As for a birth plan, forget it.
“Every time I have a birth plan it goes out the blimmin’ window. My sister had all these birth plans and ended up having three emergency C-sections. So the plan is no plan other than to get it out as quickly as possible. I’m hoping this one will just fall out. You know, just as I’m walking along!”
The baby will arrive during what is arguably one of Stacey’s busiest work periods to date. As well as her regular appearances on Loose Women, she’s been signed as a panellist on Celebrity Juice, has an ongoing partnership with Primark and has just published her book Happily Imperfect. Despite the fact it’s been 10 years since she first rose to fame on The X Factor, and that she’s stayed in demand ever since, she still gets The Fear that all of this could end tomorrow.
“I’m freelance and people either want you or they don’t and it’s never guaranteed. I just try and take every opportunity and work as hard as I can, so if there is a drought – which is highly possible at any time – we’ll be all right through it.”
Does she ever think she suffers from a touch of imposter syndrome?
“I do feel perhaps I’m just very lucky. I know plenty of talented presenters, singers… incredible people who don’t get the breaks they deserve. It’s a mix of knowing that I’ve worked hard and that’s why I’m here, but also shock at the fact I am. How did I get this? Am I allowed it? Do I deserve it? Why have I got this and they haven’t?”
She’s surely doing herself a bit of a disservice here. While some of her success can be put down to right place, right time, Stacey has always made the most of opportunities that have come her way, and being voted Queen of the I’m A Celebrity! jungle in 2010 was a perfect example of the genuine affection people have for her. Over the past few years she’s proved herself to be so much more than just bubbly, slightly kooky “Stacey from Dagenham” as Simon Cowell dubbed her at that first X Factor audition.
“I think maybe people’s opinions of me have broadened rather than changed,” she says. “You see, I am Stacey from Dagenham. I am a bit ditzy, a bit hyper, a bit silly. I’m all of those things. But I am also intelligent and thoughtful, I care about things and I’m passionate about body image and the next generation. I think maybe people have realised that.”
She’s certainly not conventional, and for the last couple of years she has home-schooled both boys. Zach will probably start secondary school in September after expressing a desire to go.
“We’ve put him on the list and we’ll make that decision before September comes. I’d like him to stay [at home], but I think he’s starting to wonder if he’s missing out. He’s really, really loved the last two years at home and he’s been brilliant. I’m so proud of myself and of them and my family for giving it a go.
“The reality is that every single child learns, takes in information and deals with emotion and life differently. One size doesn’t fit all. I think school is a brilliant place to learn and there are so many children who have the privilege of a free education in this country and that’s phenomenal.
But some children benefit from not being in that system and doing it an alternative way, and Zach is one of those children.
“It’s been hard. You don’t get time away from your children, you don’t get to drop them off anywhere. And I’ve also had to be focused enough to sit and go through their work with them even when it’s completely tedious!
“But what he’s learned and his enthusiasm towards learning is in a completely different place than it was when I took him out two years ago. It’s one of the best decisions I ever made.”
She’s also become an influential voice in the body positivity movement and has been outspoken about the pressures young girls especially are under to look a certain way. Last year, she called out a weekly magazine who labelled her “boring, desperate and cheap” for her body image campaign work.
“It made me feel horrible,” she says now. “Why would you want to do something like that to somebody? I can bat away most stuff, but I walk into my local shop and all I can see is ‘desperate and cheap’ and my face across it.
“I can’t look inside some of those magazines now. They go from telling us we’re too big to how we can get our revenge bodies and saying if we’re proud of our bodies, then we’re boring and desperate. What about the young girls who are affected by that kind of narrative? It’s really sad.”
Stacey’s own self-acceptance journey is ongoing – she has regular social media breaks in order to keep herself on track.
“If I’m really feeling low then I won’t go online. I’ll have a detox from social media entirely because otherwise I’m subconsciously taking in images and that may be contributing to the way I feel about myself.
“I do think your brain needs a break, and surrounding yourself with people who adore you regardless of what you look like is imperative. No matter what society says or the industry tells us, we are enough. We are normal, we are perfect. I could look in the mirror every day and go: ‘Oh, I hate that about me. I wish I didn’t have that stretch mark.’ But I don’t. I would rather sit there and go: ‘Ah, that’s nice. I’ve got extra stretch marks from this pregnancy.’
“I have to remind myself: ‘I actually really like that about my body’.
And I know it sounds silly, but eventually you do. And then you start questioning everybody else’s motives. Why are you telling me I shouldn’t have frown lines or muffin tops or stretch marks? I like them because they should be there. That’s exactly where they’re supposed to be! This is exactly what I’m supposed to look like.”
Of everything Stacey does, though, she loves being a mum the most. When the children are older, she plans to adopt or foster so that her house is never empty.
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“I’m always broody. I see a baby and get all tingly inside. Joe’s mum fosters long-term. I’ve seen what she’s done for the child that she looks after and I’d love to have that opportunity. I think we’ll let our children grow up and leave the house first and then we’ll adopt or foster. I don’t imagine my house ever being completely free of children.”
She jokes that poor Joe will want to retire and travel the world, but she’ll be wrapped up in who they can look after next.
“I get so much joy from my work, from my relationship with Joe and from so many things in life. But raising a child is another kind of joy entirely,” she says. “It’s my favourite thing.”
The last...
Book you read?
My own, recording my audio book.
Box set you watched?
Game Of Thrones.
Movie you watched?
The House With A Clock In Its Walls.
Night out you had?
Before I had kids!
Time you had a snog?
This morning, with Joe.
Time you cried?
It’s pretty regular – I’m an emotional wreck!
Public embarrassment you had?
I work on Loose Women, so I regularly think to myself: “Gosh, what did I say that for?!”