I didn’t put my baby down for seven MONTHS because I was terrified something awful would happen in battle with post-natal anxiety
A MUM has revealed she didn’t put her baby down for the first seven months of his life, because she was terrified something awful would happen if she did.
Deianna Mawad, from Australia’s New South Wales, barely slept and says she was “desperate” to free her arms, but felt she couldn’t put son Elijah down in her battle with post-natal anxiety.
The 32-year-old told Kidspot she would sleep on a recliner with Elijah in her arms – and only put him down to shower when her husband Fady got home to work.
She said: “No matter how tired I was, I couldn’t bear to put him down.
“I became an expert at one-armed living, where I would rock Elijah on the left and use my right for chores.”
But burnt dinner and putting dirty washing in the drier soon became the norm for the sleep-deprived mum.
Deianna said: “As the months ticked on, Fady continued to sleep in our bed alone. Elijah had never been in his bassinet, which had gathered dust.
“My worries continued to escalate too, as I stressed about everything in the outside world that could hurt my precious newborn.”
By the time she took Elijah for her six-month vaccinations, Deianna was at breaking point.
The mum was screaming inside but she still couldn’t tell people how she felt – scared of being viewed as a “failure”.
What is postnatal anxiety?
With the stress, sleep-deprivation and hormonal changes associated with having a baby, it’s no surprise some mums experience post-natal anxiety.
There are three common types:
- Postnatal anxiety disorder: where you worry about everything from your child’s health to your own abilities as a parent
- Postnatal OCD: where you experience distressing thoughts about harm coming to your baby
- Postnatal health anxiety: where you consistently worry that your child is not well
Sound familiar? Anxiety UK offer a handy self-diagnosis test:
- Have you found yourself overly worrying that your baby being in danger?
- Have you found yourself imagining your baby coming to harm?
- Have you found your concerns over your baby’s safety are affecting your daily life?
- Have you have experienced panic attacks?
If you answered YES to three or more of these questions, please speak to your GP – who will be able to help with a formal diagnosis and treatment.
She said: “I hadn’t slept in months and desperately wanted my arms to be free, but I couldn’t. If I put him down something bad will happen, I thought.
“By seven months, Elijah ate, slept and bathed in my arms. I literally hadn’t put him down for his whole life.”
Seven months in, Deianna finally broke down to another mum at baby group – who suggested a specialist clinic where she could book in for a three-week stay.
The counsellor revealed she was suffering from post-natal anxiety, a condition which makes mums obsess over their children – affecting their day-to-day life.
She coached the mum through her first night sleeping apart from Elijah.
Deianna says neither she or her lad slept a wink that first night, but gradually he cried less and less – until he was sleeping through the night again.
When she returned home, Deianna slept in the same bed as her husband for the first time in eight months.
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Elijah is now two, while Deianna and Fady have just welcomed their second son Benjamin.
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