help

on my way back from brugge in 2011,my plane got into trouble,both wings fell orf so i opened the exit door and jumped.
i was wearing my rab c nesbit string vest and my oversized stan lazeredas retro blues shirt,because it was a bit cold.
50.0000 thousand feet,i did the first 30.00o in half a second,i grabbed my rab c and pulled,the retro stan opened up like a parrashute,whow,i pulled the string to the right i went left,i pulled the string to the left i went right,i pulled the string down the middle i pissed myself.
so im getting nearer to the ground now,i can see the white house in canada,the taj hahal by india,and the sydney opera house and blues tyres cov road.
just then a aeroplane came by me,so i pulled another string to slow me down,it was horrible,claret and fecking blue,the driver who was wearing a hummel 1982 hummel vile shirt,he opened his window and said hey bluenose do you want a lift,yippie ay yay.
i gave him the finger and pulled my up string and then my left string and shate on the viler.
anyway to cut a short story long i land on a deserted desert island.
great,the first week i pretended i was on holiday,and got a great suntan,i worked out a way to make strong super bok beer using roots and plastic.
pissed up every night,fantastic.
then i got few up.
can some one save m.