The menopause made my wife’s sex drive disappear but she uses my erection problems as an excuse

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M having erection problems because I fear my wife is not attracted to me sexually.

We’ve attempted sex only three times in the past five years – successfully just once.

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Ever since my wife lost interest in sex I’ve struggled to get it up and now it feels like she’s blaming me for our lack of intimacy[/caption]

We’ve been married very happily for 40 years but my wife’s healthy sexual appetite has disappeared.

I’m 65 and she is 62. She had hormone replacement therapy when she went through the menopause.

I love her but feel my erection problems suit her just fine.

DEIDRE SAYS: Sexual responsiveness can suffer from the menopause but the HRT should have helped.

I doubt this crisis is wholly about that. Ask what changes you could make in your relationship as a whole, or in how you make love that would make her happier.

Then she may be more responsive to your needs.

My e-leaflet Love And The Mature Woman can help you both with this.

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