I love my girlfriend but her family are horrible and it’s getting too much for me

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my girlfriend’s family said I dressed like a tramp, I found it really upsetting. But she is telling me to ignore it.

I’m a woman of 34 and my girlfriend is 33. I’ve always felt anxious around her family, who are pretty rough.

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Things are great with my girlfriend but whenever we see her family I feel down and we argue[/caption]

They swear and call each other names. I feel out of place.

I know I’m not fashionable but I’m not a tramp. I wear decent, clean clothes. It gets me down but my girlfriend just says to ignore it.

I was devastated when her niece said that my girlfriend’s mum called me trashy.

I love my girlfriend but I don’t want to be part of this family any more.

DEIDRE SAYS: I suspect they are using comments about the way you dress to express their prejudice against your girlfriend’s sexual identity.

This is too harsh to just shrug off. Your girlfriend is key here.

She is very much an adult and should stand up to her family and say that rude comments about you are unacceptable, that they should welcome you and be polite to you – or they are insulting her.

She can find helpful guidance on talking to prejudiced family members through Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (fflag.org.uk, 0845 652 0311).

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