Prince William and Kate’s tour of Pakistan didn’t show a clash of cultures — it proved we’re more alike than we realise
WATCHING Prince William and Kate on their tour in Pakistan brought home to me the differences . . . but also the similarities of the cultures.
My father, a respected lecturer in Pakistan, moved to Strathclyde University in the 1960s after winning a scholarship to do a PhD.
Moving his family (wife and two children with a third on the way) to a foreign country with a different language and traditions was a very difficult decision.
Today there are more than two million Brits with Pakistani heritage living in the UK.
Seeing the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge ride in a rickshaw and watch traditional dancing is fascinating for me as a comedienne, as the clashes of culture as well as the similarities — including a love of cricket and curries — enabled me, growing up, to see things from a slightly different perspective.
These differences enhanced my life and, I feel, have also enriched the UK as a whole.
Landing on the bonnie banks of Govan in Glasgow, across from the shipyards where Billy Connolly had worked, my father was part of a huge influx of migrants from South Asia in the Sixties.
His scholarship only covered the university fees and not living expenses, so he had to work two separate jobs in a factory at night to make enough money to feed his family.
These differences enhanced my life and, I feel, have also enriched the UK as a whole.
Shops routinely closed at 5.30pm six days a week, and, like the cinemas, never opened on a Sunday.
But the local Asian shops were open later and later, and the supermarkets took notice and started to follow suit.
With the change of shopping times also came the influx of the wonderful tasty food and aromatic spices.
Today, the whole British nation embraces chicken tikka masala as one of its favourite dishes.
As a teenager I was so proud of my father, but the sacrifices he made to come here, and working so many hours took their toll and at 45 he died from a heart attack.
However, his research into organic chemistry is now being taught globally in universities.
What a legacy.
Family and community are very important in the Pakistani culture and everyone was there to help my
mum financially and emotionally.
She was able to go to Glasgow University to do an MA a few years later.
As well as possessing an extraordinary work ethic, my parents also brought amazing hospitality from their Pakistani culture.
If you go to a Pakistani person’s house, go hungry — you’ll be fed. We don’t understand the word no, it is rude to refuse.
We will also give you food to take home with you, in yogurt pots or margarine or ice cream containers — Pakistani people are also very good at recycling food and plastics.
So if you love “Indian” food then find a friend (not me, as I’m one of the only Pakistani people who lacks the cooking gene, although my sister has it. My niche lay elsewhere . . . )
After the loss of my mother and as I struggled with grief, while some turn to drink, drugs, or gambling, I turned to stand-up comedy.
HILARIOUS THING
I remember my very first gig, during the Edinburgh Fringe. I had told no one, not my children, not any friends.
If I was going to die on stage, I decided I would do so alone. I mean, how many people would be there at 8.30pm on a Sunday?
Turns out, a lot. The place was buzzing. Was I nervous? Just a bit. But it was only five minutes, what could possibly go wrong?
One minute in, I froze — and felt as if my life was flashing before me.
I decided to say the first thing that popped into my head: “Of course, you do realise I am Pakistani,” I said. They all laughed.
What was so funny about that? I realised people were confused. They saw this brown face and western outfit and heard a Scottish accent, and wondered where I was from.
Unfortunately, it’s easy to tar people with the same brush and it can alienate communities.
But what I celebrate is the gap between the similarities and differences of Pakistani culture — as it’s a beautiful, as well as sometimes an hilarious thing.
I want to show both sides of the cultural divide that we, Pakistani people and British people, have so much more in common than we realise. And, most of all, laughter brings us all together.
It really is the best medicine.
All I want for Christmas...
ALL I want for Christmas is Mariah Carey’s agent. The singer has a £9million deal to do a seasonal ad for Walkers crisps.
And she looks amazing. In fact, I wonder if she has ever glanced at a potato, never mind guzzled a bag of those deep-fried calories.
Maybe she just sniffs them. I only have to LOOK at a samosa and I put on weight.
So now I eat them blindfolded.
Theatre’s hitting a bum note
“BAH! Humbug!” I say to the Empire Theatre manager in Sunderland whose staff stopped people singing along to Motown: The Musical.
Perhaps, when selling tickets, they should say singing is prohibited and enjoying yourself will be at the manager’s discretion?
Or, as part of the £100 a ticket, offer singing lessons so people can join in and be part of the ensemble. That might be a better idea.
As a performer, I love it when I can see the audience enjoying themselves.
Why don’t they ask the cast if they like the punters to sing along?
Mind you, I once did a comedy gig when a drunk heckler had to be removed – there is joining in and then there are idiots.
Or maybe the show’s just jinxed at the Empire? Friday night’s performance had to be abandoned because of a power cut.
A win for us all
I WAS pleased to hear John Lewis and Waitrose will no longer have plastic toys in their party crackers.
It is a small step but all retailers should follow suit.
But what will it be replaced by? And will the cost of the cracker go up or down?
From a business point of view, this is an opportunity to replace it with something of more value that will last for longer than just the meal.
Like a bag for life. And no, I don’t mean your granny.
Could the money spent on plastic toys be used to hire better joke writers? That would be a win for us all.
Andy’s a modern Bruce
AS Bruce Forsyth used to say on The Generation Game . . . didn’t he do well.
As a Brit, a Scot and a tennis fan, I was thrilled for Sir Andy Murray, who won his first ATP tour title last weekend since his hip surgery.
Shining through in his magnificent performance was Andy’s dedication and love for the sport, as well as for his family.
Andy has made many sacrifices, starting at a young age, when he was away from home to train in Spain.
Carrying a country’s expectations on your shoulders is a huge strain.
How we all held our breath when Andy was match point up to win his first Wimbledon.
To come back from multiple injuries and operations shows real grit and determination. He is a wonderful example to us all.
A TRUE SCOT
If you want something badly enough, nothing can stop you. You have to keep trying again and again and again.
Andy is a true Scot and his determination to keep trying reminded me of another great Scot: Robert the Bruce.
As children, we were taught his story: struggling to find a way to defeat the English; the spider in a cave that never stopped trying to make its web.
If we all lived by the motto “If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again”, we could achieve so much more.
Perhaps Boris Johnson has taken it to heart.
Desperate measures
HOW sad I was to see the lengths that people are going to in order to seek a better life in our wonderful country.
An estimated 70,000 people enter Britain illegally per year . . . but the risks they take are increasing all the time.
It was heartbreaking to read the text messages of Pham Thi Tra My, who may have been one of the 39 people found dead in a lorry in Essex.
Her final words “I am really, really sorry, Mum and Dad, my trip to a foreign land has failed. I am dying, I can’t breathe. I love you very much” were just harrowing.
I just can’t imagine what her parents are going through, or what drove her to such desperate lengths.
Human life is precious, and not just human lives from the West.
We need to catch the evil people behind this crime and bring them to justice.
Heaven is ribble: no quibbles
THE Ribble Valley has been named as the UK’s happiest place to live. “Where?” I hear you say.
It’s a rural part of Lancashire including the unspoiled Forest of Bowland. Highlights of the area are a small Norman castle, the rolling countryside, as well as gastronomic delights.
MOST READ IN OPINION
This tranquil spot will no longer be quiet after all this publicity, especially when I take my children there!
Sounds like the perfect place to have a day out in the countryside and let your children run wild.
Who knows, you might just bring the joy back with you. But remember, the happiest place in the world should always be your heart.
GOT a story? RING The Sun on 0207 782 4104 or WHATSAPP on 07423720250 or EMAIL exclusive@the-sun.co.uk