Lando Calrissian is The Greatest STAR WARS Scoundrel, Not Han Solo
Star Wars: The Rise of the Skywalker will see the return of another classic Star Wars character when Billy Dee Williams reprises his role as Lando Calrissian. Also portrayed by Donald Glover in Solo: A Star Wars Story, Lando is known as a suave ladies’ man who loves to brag about his exploits, and assures Han Solo and the rest of the galaxy that everything you've ever heard about him is true. Well... except all the lies.
But even to this day, most casual Star Wars fans are likely to claim that Han Solo spent his life as a rogue, a liar, and a cheat (and would probably admit it with pride). Where as Lando talks a big game, but is ultimately a businessman and skilled gambler. But a closer look at Lando’s stories reveals the roguish charmer is by far the greater scoundrel, embellishing or outright lying about his accomplishments.
With Lando about to reappear for the final Star Wars film in the original saga, let’s examine this gambler’s most famous war story – and see how much we should take him at his word. Because no story confirms that Lando is a scoundrel (and always had been) like “my little maneuver at the Battle of Taanab,” which Lando originally credited with earning him the rank of Rebel Alliance General in Return of the Jedi.
While the Battle of Taanab is mentioned only in passing during Return of the Jedi, it gets more attention in Star Wars: The Essential Chronology, a reference book that examines minor stories. Currently considered ‘Legends’ by Disney for the time being, the story reveals Taanab was an Inner Rim farm world planet with stardocks that suffered regular raids from Norulac pirates. The pirates stole food and other valuables, with the planet receiving no protection from the Empire (as it deemed the planet too unimportant).
Shortly after the events of Star Wars: A New Hope, merchant captain Lando Calrissian was shipping denta beans to Taanab when the pirates attacked. Confined to Taanab while the pirates took his cargo, Lando observed the pirates’ flight patterns and began boasting that he could stop them. The other traders laughed at Lando, drunkenly betting him their breweries, palaces, and other valuables if he could accomplish this. Motivated, Lando borrowed a freighter named the Mama Tried and set off to stop the pirates all on his own. The freighter held many Conner nets – missiles that unfurled into large nets that could short out a ship’s operating systems – which Lando had been transporting for a friend.
Lando’s “maneuver” is surprisingly simple. First, he hides his freighter in the ice rings of Taanab’s moon. Then once the pirates are in range, he shoots the Conner nets to disable many of their ships. During the confusion, Lando uses the Mama Tried’s tractor beam to hurl chunks of ice from the moon at the pirates. Eventually the Taanab Defence Force joins in and successfully repels the pirates – who never return following their humiliating defeat. Not only did Lando collect on many of the bets the traders placed on him, he also became a celebrity on Taanab and the Inner Rim. But Lando’s victory did help the people of Taanab and was a testament to his quick thinking… except it was all a lie.
In the Dark Horse comic, Tag & Bink Are Dead (also currently ‘Legends’) readers meet Tag Greenley and Bink Otauna, two inept Rebel officers who bumble their way through the events of the original trilogy Forrest Gump-style. Separated from the Alliance by the events of The Empire Strikes Back, Tag and Bink masquerade as Stormtroopers aboard the Death Star and manage to get away by stealing the Imperial shuttle Tydirium. When their hyperdrive is damaged and they accidentally get targeted by Boba Fett, Tag decides to hide at Cloud City hoping his friend Lando Calrissian (who used to date both of his sisters) will help them. Lando, however, demands that Tag and Bink leave until Tag utters three words: “Battle of Taanab.” Unbelievably, the usually unflappable Lando crumbles and agrees to fix their ship.
Why the sudden change in attitude? It turns out Lando was never even at the Battle of Taanab. Instead, the pilot who stopped the Norulac pirates was Tag Greenley who was posing as Calrissian, while the real Lando was two-timing both of Tag’s sisters with a senator’s daughter. Taking pity on Lando, Tag let him take credit for his victory at the Battle of Taanab to spare Lando his sisters’ wrath. Unfortunately, once Lando discovered how many favors he could get by milking Tag’s victory, the nerf herder began using “my little maneuver at the Battle of Taanab” to pick up women ever since.
Although Tag Greenley is unknown to most Star Wars fans, his adventures do show that he is skilled in disguise (having passed himself off successfully as a Stormtrooper and one of the Emperor’s guards). He’s also taken down powerful enemies, having once accidentally knocked out and robbed Boba Fett, earning him the bounty hunter’s wrath. Moreover, he contributes anonymously to the Alliance in unexpected ways (the Imperial shuttle Tydirium he stole with Bink is later used by Han Solo, Luke, and Princess Leia to sneak onto Endor’s moon).
Lando, on the other hand, has a history of selling out his friends, lying and cheating, and talking his way into beds across the galaxy. When Lando is directly questioned about the Battle of Taanab as part of the Star Wars Roleplaying Game, he refuses to give any details before changing the subject, confirming the gamemakers are drawing from the same existing lore. Canon or not, it certainly fits with everything fans have seen of Lando in both the original trilogy and Han Solo's origin film.
Admittedly, Lando has his moments of heroism as he did help rescue Han Solo and take down the second Death Star – but when Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker comes out, the Resistance might want to think twice about how much trust they place in Lando Calrissian.