Dr Zoe on the warning signs that someone may be suicidal – from lacking energy to agitation
THERE’S another epidemic that is growing right under our noses as we face Covid-19 head on.
Like the virus, it is not something you can see – but it is something that affects us all.
Never has there been a more important time to talk about suicide. In recent months, more and more people have been affected by something we call suicidality.
It’s where people harbour serious thoughts about taking their own lives, may plan to kill themselves and sometimes go on to try.
In the two years following the financial crisis of 2008, it’s estimated about 1,000 extra deaths from suicide were recorded in the UK and many, many thousands of additional cases of suicidality.
Suicide is already the biggest killer of young people under the age of 45, and we can only assume in the next few years it is going to be significantly worse.
The pandemic has turned our lives upside down, with millions facing employment problems and financial struggles. And the scary reality is that we probably all know somebody at risk.
We have to be acutely aware that suicidality is really, really common. It’s not something that just happens to strangers.
Suicide doesn’t discriminate – it affects people from all walks of life, and no one is immune.
My mum struggled with suicidality for years, she didn’t want to go on living. The only reason she did was for the sake of her kids and grandchild. In some cases it might be obvious something is wrong, in other cases it won’t be.
It could involve someone who has never been affected by mental health issues before, but one event – the loss of their job, for example – leaves them vulnerable.
One single event can be all it takes, no matter how perfect your life appears. So how can you tell? There are some changes in the way a person behaves that can provide clues.
High-risk warning signs include:
- Threatening to hurt or take their own life
- Talking or writing about death, dying or suicide
- Actively looking for ways to take their own life.
Other warning signs include:
- A change in routine, such as sleeping or eating less
- Lacking energy or appearing really tired
- Drinking, smoking or using drugs more than usual
- Finding it hard to cope with everyday things
- Not wanting to do things they usually enjoy
- Becoming withdrawn from friends and family – not wanting to be around people
- Appearing more tearful
- Appearing restless, agitated, nervous or irritable
- Putting themselves down in a jokey way, “Oh no one loves me” or “I’m a waste of space”
- Losing interest in their appearance, not liking or taking care of themselves or feeling they don’t matter.
The most important thing is to trust your gut instinct.
We all have a responsibility to look after each other, and if you are worried something isn’t right, act on it. You’re never going to drive somebody to take their own life just by asking. Often the opposite is true – so don’t be afraid to bring it up.
Asking: “How are you?” isn’t always enough. My advice is to share how you are feeling rather than going in with a direct question. Be honest with your friend or loved one, and say: “It is going through my mind you might harm yourself, or try to take your own life. Should I be worried?”
By doing that you are giving them permission to open up. You have so much more power to help someone than you realise.
YOU'RE NOT ALONE
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You’re Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let’s all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You’re Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
- Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk
- Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123
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Making someone a cup of tea and telling them: “I know you are going through a sh*t time, I really love you and I am here for you”, can make all the difference.
The smallest acts of kindness could save a life.
And to those people who are gripped by suicidality, I just want to let you know it WILL get better. Other people who have survived it will tell you that – so believe it. Speaking to somebody you trust is the most important thing you can do.
- YOU can also call the Samaritans on 116 123 (freephone), email jo@samaritans.org or visit the Samaritans website. Call NHS 111 (freephone). Contact your GP for an emergency appointment. Contact a mental health crisis team via NHS 111.
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