My partner’s jailbird ex-girlfriend is spoiling our relationship – I am miserable
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM miserable because my partner’s jailbird ex is spoiling our relationship.
I’m 34. Three years ago, my former partner went to prison. Our relationship cracked under the pressure of his crime and trial, and we split up about a year after he went inside.
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Meanwhile, I met a nice guy in a support group for offenders’ families. He is 38. His girlfriend, who is 37, was also in prison.
We started seeing each other, moved in together, and everything was great – until she came out two weeks ago.
Since then, she won’t leave us alone. She is always hanging around outside our flat, sending him messages and causing me aggravation.
He invited her in a couple of times for a cup of tea, and she didn’t want to leave.
I don’t understand why my boyfriend won’t just tell her to go away.
It’s making me wonder if he’s really over her. I feel anxious and can’t stop crying.
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DEIDRE SAYS: She’s vulnerable and probably hoping your partner will get back with her if she is persistent.
And he may feel guilty that he broke up with her while she was in prison.
He won’t enjoy hurting her.
But he needs to be honest with her and clear that he’s now with you.
Tell him how you feel, so he can reassure you.
My support pack on assertiveness may help you to get the message across to him and help him to talk to her too.