The 6 reasons your sex drive is low – and how to sort it out
IF your sex life has taken a bit of a tumble recently, then you’re not alone.
Data shows that both men and women across the UK are experiencing a bit of a lull when it comes to feeling frisky.
Over the last 12 months searches for “low sex drive” in women have increased by 300 per cent, while the same search for men has also increased by 100 per cent.
Searches for libido are also up by 100 per cent, showing that many people are just not feeling it when it comes to getting beneath the sheets.
It’s safe to say that sometimes, we just don’t feel like it, but there could also be other reasons as to why your sex drive has taken a tumble.
LloydsPharmacy’s Superintendent Pharmacist, Victoria Steele highlighted: “Having a healthy sex life is good for your wellbeing – it’s even thought to be good for your heart – not just emotionally but physically too.”
Here experts reveal how to get out of a low libido slump and why you might be feeling less than thrilled about getting a thrill.
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1. Relationship issues
The NHS states that a common cause of low libido is relationship problems.
Experts say the first thing to consider is whether or not you are happy in your current relationship.
The NHS states that if you’re in a long term relationship and over-familiar with your partner then this could also have an impact.
Poor communication, issues with trust and unresolved arguments can all lead to a low sex drive.
2. Sexual problems
It can be difficult to get in the mood if you have issues during sex.
The NHS states that issues could range from anything to erectile dysfunction, vaginal dryness and painful sex.
If you think your low libido is caused by any of thee issues above then you can always speak to your GP.
Pain during sex is a key sign of cervical cancer, so it’s important to get this checked out if you’re worried.
3. Mental health
This could be anything from, stress, anxiety, exhaustion and in the most severe cases depression.
The NHS states that these factors “can be all-consuming and have a major impact on your happiness, including your sex drive”.
LELO’s sex and relationship expert Kate Moyle said: “Sexual wellbeing is a part of our all round health and so all of these things can impact each other due to the physical effects and how we are thinking and feeling.
“When it comes to our sex lives stress and anxiety can also create a vicious cycle of interrupting sexual functioning or enjoyment, which can have the knock-on impact of causing more stress related to sex too.
“When we are in a stressed state we can be in fight/ flight/freeze mode, which doesn’t pair well with us trying to be intimate and comfortable with our partner, and so physiologically our body can also be working against us, which can be confusing and disrupting to relationships when we can’t necessarily explain what we are experiencing (for example high levels of work stress impacting us sexually).”
Psychologist Beatrice Lindéh said taking some simple steps could help you reconnect with your partner if one or both of you is struggling with your mental health.
“Hugging, showering together, or just lying naked in bed together can be enough for a while, and will keep you feeling close until your libido returns”, she told Metro.
How to let go of libido worries
Victoria said that there are many ways that you can sort out your lack of libido, but first, she said you need to address the route cause of why you feel this way.
“When it comes to increasing your libido the most important first step is to understand why your libido may have decreased.
“Addressing the root cause will not only enable you to have a better understanding of your health but it will also enable you to take steps to increase your libido long-term.”
She explained you also need to take time for yourself and de-stress, as it can be hard for us to think about sex when our minds are elsewhere.
Victoria said following a balanced diet might also help.
She explained: “Many people talk about foods that can boost our love lives such as oysters, dark chocolate and chillis – however the evidence and direct link to our sex lives is largely unproven and is more focused around having a balanced, nutritious diet.
“Evidence has shown that eating a balanced healthy diet can improve both your physical and mental health, the same goes for exercise.
“Nutrients are very important to reducing stress and if you’re looking for advice or natural remedies to promote a better balance.”
Kate added: “Reach out to each other more. A hug that lasts 10 seconds in the kitchen when you grab a coffee, or a 5 second kiss in the morning.
“Allow your touch to last a bit longer than usual and with intention.
“If you are experiencing a low sex drive sometimes we can pull away from these types of intimacy as we think it’s always going to lead to sex, and so intentionally making physical intimacy not about sex can help you to connect and feel closer.”
4. Medications
Many commonly prescribed medications can interfere with your libido.
This includes the contraceptive pill, blood pressure drugs and medications used to treat conditions such as bipolar.
The NHS says other medications include antidepressants and medications that are prescribed for seizures and fits.
5. Baby boom
If you’ve just had a baby then it’s highly unlikely that you want to jump into bed for anything more than a nap.
The NHS says this is common due to a change in your hormones and your body – as well as the fact that you’re probably exhausted because of a newborn baby needing constant care and attention.
Not only that, but having a baby means your priorities change, meaning there might not be time to fit sex in.
6. Booze and drugs
While a cheeky glass of wine can put you in the mood, long term drug and alcohol abuse can lead to a lack of libido.
Current guidance states that men and women are advised not to drink more than 14 alcohol units a week on a regular basis.
This quiz will be able to help you identify whether or not you have a problem with booze.
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