The French Dispatch Characters, Ranked By Intelligence
Wes Anderson's The French Dispatch saw a slew of dynamic characters and their collection of eclectic stories fused into one riveting film. From kidnappings to cultural revolutions, each story was undoubtedly a wild ride, full of scenarios in which the characters had to showcase some important bouts of intelligence.
Because there are so many characters in The French Dispatch, some of them were able to prove their intelligence far more than others. When compared to one another, which personalities of Wes Anderson’s anthology film are the smartest of them all?
10 Herbsaint Sazerac
One of the writers hired to write for the French Dispatch magazine, Herbsaint Sazerac is undeniably good with his words. In his piece, he is overly observant and detail-oriented, making him quite intelligent in that regard.
While Herbsaint is a great writer, he doesn’t have all that much screen time. He is clearly smart when audiences do see him, but his talents just don't jump out as much as other characters who are featured a bit more throughout the film.
9 Zeffirelli
Zeffirelli took on a role as leader in the youthful revolutionary fight for freedom, and he did quite well overall. For example, he was smart enough to know his movement needed a manifesto in order to be taken seriously. However, Zeffirelli was young and naive.
He unfortunately lacked the necessary writing skills to make the manifesto great, which is why Lucinda had to step in to fix it. Plus, Zeffirelli died by preventable electrocution. Had he been a bit more thoughtful about the process of fixing the radio tower that caused his fatal end, perhaps he could have survived.
8 Julian Cadazio
Julian Cadazio is a highly strategic art dealer and a skilled businessman. Moses Rosenthaler quickly became the most popular modern artist in the world while he was still in prison thanks to Julian’s carefully calculated business tactics.
And yet, Julian had a disastrous falling out with Moses in the end, resulting in Julian losing his most precious money maker. This proved that Julian may have had business smarts but ultimately lacked in terms of communication with his client. Regardless, nothing can negate the fact that his appearances in the film are probably some of the funniest scenes in the Wes Anderson movie.
7 The Commissaire
As a police commissioner, The Commissaire lived up to his responsibility of being smart and tactical in high stakes crime situations. When his son Gabriel was kidnapped, The Commissaire was able to gather an entire crew together in order to save him in basically no time at all. Even amidst an intense shootout and a high-speed chase, The Commissaire knew what to do at any given moment to ensure his son's safety.
Thankfully Gabriel and The Commissaire were reunited and all worked out for the two in the end. Although, for such an intelligent detective, one might wonder why he couldn't have prevented his son from being kidnapped from their own home in the first place.
6 Roebuck Wright
Roebuck Wright is easily one of the most likable characters in The French Dispatch. On top of being incredibly well-spoken, compassionate, and a talented writer, Roebuck has a photographic memory. A trait like this is impeccable, making Roebuck extremely smart for that reason alone.
Still, Roebuck might not quite measure up to the other characters based on what was featured in the film. Audiences see a lot of Roebuck, perhaps more so than any other character, which in turn means there is more screen time to see his flaws as well. He did find himself in spells of trouble due to poor decisions, such as when he ended up in the jail cell at the police station.
5 Simone
Simone is by far the most enigmatic character in The French Dispatch, but beneath her stoic demeanor, she is actually a near-genius. Simone is the only one who truly knows Moses, how he operates, and what he needs in order to create his beautiful artwork. She is the complete and utter mastermind behind the work that Moses is praised for, and without her, neither Moses nor Julian would have gotten their fame and fortune.
Despite it all, Simone is quite low-key about her intelligence. She never outwardly took any credit where she deserved it, and her reserved nature toward the situation was in part why she and Moses unfortunately did not end up together in the end. Regardless, Simone's complexity makes her one of Wes Anderson's most iconic characters.
4 Lieutenant Nescaffier
Lieutenant Nescaffier is The Commissaire's extremely talented personal chef. He is not only smart in the kitchen, though, he also has some of the best street smarts out of every character in The French Dispatch thanks to his experience as a veteran.
Lieutenant Nescaffier exhibited just how clever he is when he ate poisoned food so that Gabriel's kidnappers would do the same. Even after all the criminal assailants died, Lieutenant Nescaffier was able to survive the poisoning. While this was a brilliant and impressive move by Lieutenant Nescaffier, had he been even smarter, perhaps he might have found a way to avoid eating the poison at all.
3 Arthur Howitzer Jr
As the man owns and edits the French Dispatch magazine, Arthur Howitzer Jr. is an astute businessman through and through. He knows what works for the magazine, knows how to find the best writers, and is highly praised by his employees for his diligent work ethic.
Arthur Howitzer Jr essentially ties the entire film together by connecting all the anthological stories. As a recurring Wes Anderson collaborator, it makes sense that Bill Murray's character is the intellectual glue of the story. Perhaps it might not have been entirely smart of him to discontinue the magazine after his death, subsequently leaving his workers unemployed, but some could also argue that his decision was the smartest one in terms of leaving behind a remarkable literary legacy.
2 Lucinda Krementz
Lucinda Krementz is by far the smartest of the magazine writers. She is unapologetic; she knows what she likes and what she wants. She tells it like it is and doesn't hold back, making her smart in the sense that she prioritizes herself and those she cares about. Plus, she is a masterful writer, and she knows it, too.
Lucinda's abundant intelligence is put on display when she edits Zeffirelli's manifesto, taking it from a mess of words to a well-crafted proclamation for the cause. She even goes out of her way to solve the romantic conflict between Zeffirelli and Juliette for them. There are really no faults when it comes to what the audience sees of Lucinda's intelligence.
1 Gabriel
Gabriel's intelligence is simply unlike any other in The French Dispatch. He is just a child, but because he was raised as a detective, his perception skills are far beyond what any other kid his age would be. His young age but high IQ makes Gabriel far more impressive in terms of intelligence than the rest of the film's characters.
When the audience meets him, he is solving unsolved cases from old police files. He knows morse code fluently and even uses it to help himself get out of his kidnapping situation when he seemingly came up with the poisoning idea. Every one of Gabriel's character traits proves that his wit is completely unmatched.