Seven things to celebrate with this White Sox series win

Things are looking up for the Good Guys as they take the first two in San Francisco.

Happy Saturday, White Sox fans, and happy American League Pitcher of the Month Dylan Cease Day! It’s a holiday weekend White Sox winner, and a series win against a team with a great interleague play record. When the Giants bobbled, the White Sox capitalized and dominated, to the surprise of some South Side fans’ slumbering confidence.

San Francisco took the lead early, as Cease’s second pitch of the game left the park off the bat of LaMonte Wade Jr. in a no-doubter to right field. Cease quickly regained his composure and kept the Giants at bay for the remainder of his five full innings.

It looked like the White Sox were battling in another close rubber match until the fourth inning, when all hell broke loose in Fog City. The South Side offense finally lit up as the Giants made critical defensive errors, ultimately paying with a loss. It feels good when the White Sox cash in on the other team’s defensive errors instead of being the team making them. Tim Anderson, Gavin Sheets, and International Pop Superstar Yoán Moncada came through with notable production, and all the pieces fell into all the right places.

In honor of this important White Sox win, I present you with seven things to celebrate today as a White Sox fan:

1. Abreu seven-game hitting streak.

José Abreu is back, but not yet in a big way. Abreu has only nine home runs this season, and as the weather heats up, so will he.

2. Tanner Banks dominated two games in a row.

Tanner Banks looked relaxed in both relief appearances in this series. The rookie hit his stride and his confidence bolstered him through two 1-2-3 innings today.

3. The White Sox have the easiest remaining strength of schedule in baseball.

The South Siders face almost all of their AL Central rivals before the All-Star break. Some wins in the right places could reset the momentum for the division lead.

4. Leury García is retroactively earning his spot.

Given Leury García’s superior stats when buried in the lineup versus his lacking performance when he bats early, his leadoff and early spot-shuffling by skipper Tony La Russa had many White Sox fans up in arms. Leury has been clutch at times, and he’s certainly a beloved player to many, but overemphasizing Leury in the lineup wae one of the many factors that had fans chanting for La Russa’s dismissal.

When asked about Leury’s game-winning clutch single last night, La Russa said with a smirk, “He’s a big-time player. He had a big-time hit.”

When entered into the Tony La Russa Text Translator™, this statement means:

I stand by Leury García in any circumstance whatsoever, regardless of stats. Yes, I blame stats for my somatic knee-jerk decisions, which I don’t explain, but ignore that for now. Leury is the best player on this team. He’s got the stuff, and if you don’t think so, fuck you. If I were manager of this team permanently, Leury García would be in the lineup for every single game until 2042. Wait, what am I talking about, I am the manager of this team permanently. Don’t you know who I am? I’m a Hall of Fame manager.

Leury has been doing a great job lately, though.

5. Dylan Cease was named American League Pitcher of the Month for June.

Cease gave up one earned run in the entire month of June, and he’s not stopping any time soon. If any of our pitchers deserve to be an All-Star this year, it’s Dylan.

6. Tim Anderson won the acclaimed Dairy Queen Signature Stackers Meal Matchup™ by putting the smack down on Bryce Harper’s dumbass meal choice.

Bryce Harper is, and always has been, a baseball prodigy, and that’s why he’s so fervently hated by so many fans and players alike. Come at me if you want, but I’ve always liked Bryce Harper and his challenging of baseball’s unwritten rules and lack of fun, something Tim Anderson agrees with. However, Anderson would have to do some profoundly problematic things to get knocked out of my Favorite Current Player spot, and anyone facing off against him in anything, even something fucking stupid like a Dairy Queen marketing competition, will receive my heckling. I don’t care if it’s dumb because TA won, so suck it, Bryce (but also please come to the White Sox. I don’t speak for everyone. I’m likely to get dragged for this, in fact. But think about it. It’s a great team, I swear)!

7. A White Sox win.

Two in a row? Two games below .500? The chance for a sweep with Gio on the mound tomorrow? I’ll take it.

Have a great holiday weekend, White Sox fans. Let’s get those brooms out for tomorrow.