I’ve cheated on wife our whole marriage, I’m jealous of the attention she gives the kids & it stops sex being boring

MOST love rats have three affairs, for up to four years, before getting caught, according to a recent survey.

Here, a 40-year-old dad of three who goes by the online pseudonym of Dark Horse reveals he has been unfaithful for his ENTIRE ten-year marriage . . . but refuses to feel guilty.

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Most love rats have three affairs, for up to four years, before getting caught, according to a recent survey[/caption]

Alamy

Ruth Wilson and Dominic West star in hit TV series The Affair, which explores extra-marital relationships[/caption]

I LOVE my wife to bits but I cheat . . . a lot. I cheated on all the women who came and went before her but I don’t feel an ounce of guilt about any of it.

Girlfriends, side chicks, mistresses — whatever you want to call them — I have three on the go right now and it gives me a buzz saying it aloud. I call all my women “babe”, including my wife, so there is no danger of mixing them up.

Some might argue I am a sociopath. Others might call me a legend. But I’m neither. I’m just a regular man with a crutch, much the same as someone who drinks more alcohol than they should.

I’d love to tell you I have a six-pack and drive a Ferrari but I’m probably a “seven out of ten” on my best day.

Achieving that takes a weekly haircut and five visits a week to the gym.

I drive a Volvo, which fits all three of my kids’ car seats, and wear a smartwatch, not a Rolex.

I’ve been married for ten years and because I’ve been having affairs for as long as I can recall, it has become normal. I don’t know what long-term monogamy feels like — and I don’t want to know.

You might baulk when I say my extramarital encounters make me a better husband and dad.

But if anything, my wife should thank me for seeing other women behind her back because they make me the best version of myself.

I lavish her with gifts, and when she turned 40 recently, I whisked her away to a 5* hotel. We have sex just once a fortnight, twice if we have the time — and if it was not for me thinking about my other women throughout, our love-making would be mediocre.

I only “play away” on Mondays and Wednesdays, when my wife thinks I’m having “me time” in the gym or that I’m out with friends.

Across the rest of the week I am an attentive, hands-on husband and dad — as opposed to some men who never look up from their phones.

I take my kids to their after-school activities and will drop everything at work if one of them is sick and they need me.

But I confess I am envious of the attention the kids get from my wife and although I would not change that, I don’t have to like it.

What my wife doesn’t know cannot hurt her — and I get to enjoy the best of all worlds.

Cheating feels like dating and I get a high knowing I am in someone’s thoughts. I love the butterflies I get in my stomach when I meet and chat to a beautiful woman.

So where do I find them?

I use apps that encourage adultery, like Ashley Madison or Illicit Encounters.

Some might argue I am a sociopath. Others might call me a legend. But I’m neither. I’m just a regular man with a crutch, much the same as someone who drinks more alcohol than they should.

I drink in the same bar and do Pilates and salsa classes at the gym on the same day, at the same time, each week. No woman wants to talk to a guy they met a minute ago and once I’ve become a familiar face, they let down their guard.

My is motto: “Heart. Head. Bed.”

After planting the seed that I am into someone I meet, I make my way into their heart. Once I have achieved that, I usually get to choose whether I let them into my bed.

I am very observant. I tell women casually I like their shoes or have noticed they are wearing a different watch. I pay attention to whether they are left or right-handed — and if they beat their personal best on the treadmill in the gym, I acknowledge it.

I don’t leer but I mirror their actions — if they nod, I nod — and if I get chatting to a woman who tells me something interesting about her life, I remember it and replay it back to her six months later.

Women, especially those who feel neglected in their marriage, crave attention and it is a natural aphrodisiac when I give it.

I keep a “burner” phone in my office and once I am in a woman’s head, I text and send flowers to say I am thinking of them.

I know this is all wrong, and am very careful to cover my tracks.

I never spend the night with someone unless I am away on business — and I keep an identical set of clothes in my car to match those I left home in, just in case they get marked with lipstick or smell of someone else’s perfume.

Being a serial cheat is not easy. Between my affairs, I have short periods of monogamy.

It is like getting pregnant: When you try too hard, it doesn’t happen. When you stop trying, it does.

Cheating feels like dating and I get a high knowing I am in someone’s thoughts. I love the butterflies I get in my stomach when I meet and chat to a beautiful woman.

I love the thrill of the chase but I go through phases when I chase and nothing happens, so I delete myself from the apps.

I do that when there is no fresh meat and just the same old faces.

But I don’t stay away for long. The attention is my drug.

It is what drives me and is why I cannot be faithful to just one woman. It frustrates me that I cannot tell friends or share photos. To last in the cheating game takes discretion.

The only person who knows is my secretary — and because I have dirt on her, my sordid secrets are safe.

I am not picky about who I have an affair with. I love all women, whether they are young, thin and gorgeous or mature, charming and elegant.

While I have had sex in car parks, my office and hotel rooms, I only have sex with half of the extra-marital women I meet. Having sex makes an encounter more emotional and can make it harder to cut ties further down the line.

There is a pattern. My affairs usually last three months, then something breaks and I do a quick exit.

It is usually when emotions get involved — and I tell every woman I meet I will never leave my wife. I have been lucky because no one has ever threatened to expose me.

While I do not expect pity, ultimately I cheat because I am broken.

As for getting caught out, I am far too careful. Feeling guilty makes you confess. It makes you sloppy. And I am neither.

I started cheatershandbook.com as an outlet. It keeps me sane in my complicated life and is a place to offload my thoughts. If I did not write, I would probably go mad.

How do I sleep at night? My pillows are comfortable.

And before you judge me, ask yourself: If you could have an affair safe in the knowledge nobody would ever find out, would you?

• As told to Claire Dunwell. All stats from Illicit Encounters

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A couple, especially in a long-term relationship, should have open access to each other’s messages, otherwise where is the trust?[/caption]