I’m a relationship expert – would you take ‘MDMA love potion’ to put the spark back into your relationship?
FROM Harry Potter to A Midsummer Night’s Dream, love potions have long been the subject of fiction.
But experts believe they could soon be real – and available within five years.
A recent academic paper found that MDMA – or ecstasy – could help couples in counselling feel closer as it aids the release of serotonin, which amplifies empathy.
And Anna Machin, an evolutionary anthropologist, has discussed the potential benefits of “love hormone” oxytocin.
She told the Cheltenham Science Festival that within a decade she expects “people to squirt oxytocin up their nose before they go out on a Saturday night, at the same time as having a glass of prosecco”.
Oxford academic Anna, who wrote the book Why We Love, tells Claire Dunwell how certain substances, taken in controlled settings, could help couples fall back in love.
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ANNA Machin says: “After studying love for a long time we know enough to start to imagine drugs that might assist and support the neurochemistry of it.
“I have no issue with MDMA (the powder form of ecstasy) being used in marriage therapy.
“It’s no different to using anti-depressants to rebalance the brain’s chemical balance and help you have psychological counselling.
“Often when couples go into relationship therapy they’re stuck in their mindset. They are not listening to the other side and there’s a lot of conflict.
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“A very low (0.5milligram) and short-lasting dose may mean they become more empathetic and more open to communicating and listening.
“It’s a very different experience to buying something you’re not even sure is ecstasy on the street and taking it.
“There have been some tragic deaths (from ecstasy) but in the therapy setting, it is very pure and controlled.
“In terms of marriage therapy it is a positive step — MDMA is being trialled in the US, where it is proving reasonably successful.
“In the UK we’re at the proof of concept stage. We’re looking at: How does this work?
“Does it do what it says it’s going to do? And can it be a universal drug or does its effects depend on who you give it to?
“MDMA makes you more empathetic and much more open to being sociable.
“People who take MDMA recreationally quite often report they feel immense, euphoric deep love for other people.
“It’s very much a love drug in that sense.”
However, Fay Hoyland, from drug and alcohol charity We Are With You, says: “Taking any drug for recreational use is risky.
“But MDMA can be particularly dangerous as you never know what you are buying.”
Anna adds: “It’s hoped that the breakthroughs that can be made while someone is on MDMA — which is administered only by a licensed professional during the therapy session — can go on to help a couple fix their marriage.
“The ethical question is about using these drugs to induce love in people and where the boundaries lie.
“The bigger questions around love drugs are: Are we able to keep it controlled and contained in those therapeutic settings?
“Or is there a risk that it could be commercialised as the illusive love potion?
“And love is more complicated than just the neurochemistry in your brain.
“MDMA lowers stress hormones and increases the flood of dopamine. It seems to be good at mimicking beta endorphins, the neurochemical of long-term love.
“Beta endorphins can wane in a long-term relationship.
“Couples may touch each other less, have less sex, and because they’re not having that contact there is a dip in the neurochemistry that bonds them.
“That’s what MDMA therapy is trying to bring back.
“If you give the couple a little hit of neurochemical support, hopefully it will open those empathetic channels, enabling them to hear each other.
“Hopefully, they can take those learning points out of the therapy room and build on them.
“It’s when these controlled boundaries are breached that those of us who work in love research and those who are ethicists, have a bit of an issue.
“Some will struggle with the idea that we are medicalising love.
“Interfering with something that is ancient and pure and shouldn’t be meddled with.
“And, you don’t want someone in a therapy setting thinking, “Oh, this is all great”, and then they go away and it isn’t.
“You don’t want to keep people in marriages that aren’t good for them either.
“It’s a very complex area, not ‘pop a pill and everything is fine’.
“But the use of MDMA in relationship therapy is an exciting possibility.”
WHAT IS MDMA?
MDMA or ecstasy is a Class A drug and it is illegal to sell it, give it away or take it – and if you are caught in possession, you can face up to seven years in prison, an unlimited fine or both.
Anti-drug advisory service Talk To Frank says users may feel loved up or excited, or paranoid and anxious.
Risks include dehydration and overheating.
There is no way of knowing what is in ecstasy pill or MDMA powder and it may have other drugs and ingredients added.
Evidence also suggests long-term users can suffer from memory problems and develop depression.
For support, visit talktofrank.com or wearewithyou.org.uk.
HOW TO BOOST THOSE LOVE HORMONES
LOVE potions aren’t available yet, but there are other natural ways to get lacklustre relationships back on track.
CLAIRE DUNWELL reveals proven ways to boost those all-important love hormones.
WORK OUT TOGETHER FOR THRILLS: Regular moderate exercise, of 30 to 60 minutes, increases levels of dopamine and serotonin, hormones that help couples feel closer, says sex and relationship expert Kate Taylor.
Kate adds: “As well as triggering a chemical release in the brain, exercise induces the symptoms of non-verbal physiological arousal – sweaty hands, a racing pulse, shortness of breath – all of which mirror the thrill of romantic attraction.”
HOLD HANDS TO PREVENT CHEATING: Oxytocin, a hormone released by the pituitary gland, promotes bonding between couples. One study found men were less likely to stray when they were given oxytocin via a nasal spray.
They preferred to keep further away from attractive women than those given a placebo, the research found.
Levels can be boosted naturally – by having sex, holding hands and touching each other.
MAKE NEW FRIENDS TO KEEP PASSION ALIVE: The chemistry of the brain changes at the start of a new relationship, studies show.
There is greater activation in the dopamine-rich area of the brain.
Couples who keep the passion alive, long term, regularly share new experiences with their partners as it replicates that initial phase of a relationship.
FOOT RUB TO STIR FEELINGS: Massage is probably the most effective and natural way to feel instantly closer to your partner.
“Massage raises levels of all four of the happy hormones – oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine and endorphins,” says Kate.
A Finnish study found squeezing and rubbing the feet causes a surge in the feel-good “cuddle hormone” oxytocin.
EGGS FOR LASTING LOVE: Certain foods can do your love life wonders. Eggs, for instance, contain vitamin D and are believed to boost both serotonin and oxytocin levels.
“Couples who have a diet rich in healthy fats report higher levels of happiness than those who eat low-fat or saturated fat,” says Kate.
Couples should also avoid too much alcohol as it can drain serotonin levels.
SING TO RAMP UP AFFECTION: We produce oxytocin when we feel intense affection for another person.
It boosts our feelings of connection and trust.
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The most common way to produce oxytocin is through physical touch, like massage, kissing or sex.
But Kate suggests: “If you’re not getting physical at the moment, then several studies have found that singing with other people can raise oxytocin levels.”