I am fixated on the idea my girlfriend could cheat on me

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM fixated on the idea my girlfriend could cheat on me with her ex or someone new.

She is the first person I’ve been with since I split with my ex ten years ago.

She was physically and mentally abusive and cheated on me numerous times.

I had completely given up on the idea of ever finding love but much to my surprise, my girlfriend found a way of knocking down every wall I had built to protect myself.

I’m a 38-year-old man and my girlfriend’s 35. I’ve fallen head over heels for her.

She has kids so we only see one another at weekends when they’re with their dad.

She has been invited to a friend’s 40th and, although I persuaded her to go because she should make time for her friends, I’m worried about what might happen.

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s great you realise this is about your insecurity, not your girlfriend’s behaviour.

Write down every way your girlfriend is different from your ex.

Read through it every time you doubt your girlfriend, until it is clear in your mind they are two very different people.

My support pack on Dealing With Jealousy will help too.