ESPN8: ‘The Ocho’ is coming back and here’s your complete schedule

It’s baaaack.

It’s incredible that rebranding ESPN2 as ESPN8: “The Ocho” brings so much excitement with it every year, but here we are once more and I’m hyped yet again. What began as a goof on the 2004 film Dodgeball: A true underdog story has become one of the biggest events of the year for those participating in sports nobody really watches.

For 2022 we will get to see ESPN8 starting on Friday, August 5th and if you’re curious what you need to watch I’ve selected a handful of the best events with my brief elevator pitch for each one.

• 2022 Corgi Races at Emerald Downs: They’re corgis ... racing. ‘Nuff said.
• 2021 Corunna Belt Sander Races: People turn their belt sanders into model cars and race them. I need to know everything about supercharging a belt sander.
• 2022 Noblesville Bed Races: Competitors race through the streets pushing a bed with their teammate on it. Will a bed flip? Tune in to find out.
• 2022 eSkootr Championship: Electric scooter racing that’s decidedly less annoying than people leaving them on the sidewalk.
• Excel Esports: All-Star Battle: I kid you know, this is a Microsoft Excel battle. If you don’t believe me then watch this.
• Red Bull Paper Wings: The simplicity of flying paper airplanes taken to incredible precision.
• Slippery Stairs at The Ocho: The second year of competition where people need to climb a flight a slippery stairs.

There are obviously events all day long, with the premiere event being the “SuperHole” cornhole event which is a pro-am with celebrities. This, from ESPN.

“The SuperHole event pairs a celebrity with an ACL pro for the competition. Celebrities set to participate include: Jay Cutler, Doug Flutie, Terry Kirby, Ben Rector, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, Dawn Staley, Chris Weidman and ESPN and SEC Network’s own Marty Smith.”

Here’s the complete schedule for ESPN8: The Ocho

* Denotes a live event.