My uterus split when I was giving birth, I felt everything the surgeon did to get my baby out, reveals Joss Stone
I’VE wanted to have kids since I can remember, so it’s been a consideration in every move I’ve made since my early 20s.
I even bought an extra-big bed for my house in Devon because the plan has always been to have seven children, whether biological or adopted, and have them all in my bed at the same time!
I started most conversations in previous relationships with: “Nice to meet you, I want seven kids,” and I’d wait to see whether they laughed or ran.
Then I met my partner Cody [DaLuz, 32, who works in logistics for Amazon] and he said: “All I want is an adopted baby and an adopted dog.”
And I thought: “You are the one for me!”
Our daughter Violet came along nearly two years ago.
As she was breech, I had a caesarean, which is not what I wanted, but we were both fine and that’s the main thing.
Then, last October, I had a miscarriage.
It was horrible. It’s not something you ever get over – it’s something you have to live with. I know a lot of women go through that and it’s hard.
But there is light and hope, because a few months later, I fell pregnant with our son Shackleton, now seven weeks old.
I was hoping I could pop the baby out naturally this time.
When my waters broke, we got to the hospital and were asked if we had a birth plan.
I said: “I’m going to birth the baby using hypnobirthing techniques, unless something goes wrong, and then you guys are going to do it.”
I got in there at 6am, but by 11am I wasn’t dilating further than 6cm because I was tensing every time I had a contraction.
I was labouring for 32 hours, and then I said: “Right, it’s really hurting now, it’s time for the epidural.”
I thought I’d loosen up then, but I still wasn’t dilated past 6cm.
That’s when they gave me a drug called Pitocin, which is used to induce labour and speed things up.
Then my baby’s heartbeat started dropping and I had this intense pain. I heard his little heartbeat go down and down.
I said: “Something’s happened to my baby!” and the nurse grabbed the phone to call the obstetric emergency team.
What I didn’t realise at the time is that my uterus had split open and my baby’s head was stuck in my abdomen.
My doctor had explained that there was a very small chance of a uterine rupture because I’d had a C-section with Violet.
You only know it’s happened because the baby’s heart rate plummets, and at that point, the doctors only have around 14 minutes to get your baby out alive.
Last October, I had a miscarriage. It was horrible. It’s not something you ever get over – it’s something you have to live with. I know a lot of women go through that and it’s hard.
Joss Stone
The room filled up with people to prepare me for going to the operating room.
I remember Cody saying: “Just be calm,” and I shut my eyes and prayed.
I remember the surgeon said: “We got this,” and I think she fist-bumped me. I could feel it all [the surgery], so they decided to administer general anaesthetic.
It’s a weird thing when you plan for a natural birth and then you have an operation, but I can’t believe I’ve got my little man now.
He’s so lovely and looks just like Violet did as a newborn. Thankfully, we were discharged after three days.
I’m still recovering and I have to be careful picking up Violet, but we’re just so grateful we’re all safe.
Being a mum is better than anything else in the world – you can take away all the jobs, the travelling, the songs… I don’t need any of that. Just give me my babies and I’m fine.
I still want loads of kids, but I won’t be able to birth them naturally and would need a C-section, though my doctor said: “If you were my wife, I wouldn’t let you.”
But I’m still happy to adopt as many kids as I can. I don’t mind if I make them myself or not.
- Joss’ album, Merry Christmas, Love, is out now.