I thought I was drinking sour milk… the truth was even more terrifying
A MUM has told of the sick abuse she endured at the hands of her ex-husband – including him drugging her food and drink
Joanne, 42, had thought the milk her tea was “off” but really Thomas Ferneyhough, 37, had been slipping sleeping pills and dog medicine in her cuppa.
He began to torment Joanne after she tried to end their relationship in September 2017 – following months of “possessive” behaviour after getting married in June 2017.
While attempting to reconcile their relationship, Ferneyhough began secretly slipping the concoction into her meals and cups of tea.
The mum-of-two assumed the milk was ”off” when she noticed the usual taste.
Joanne explained: “You never imagine the person you love would be capable of such awful things – like drugging you.
“He once handed me a cup of tea and jokingly said, ‘I could have put anything in that’.
“I didn’t think anything of it at the time – I never once thought he was slipping things into my drinks.
“I’ve really struggled after the whole ordeal, but I’m glad he’s finally out of my life.”
Joanne believes the pills he was using was medicine from the vet belonging to their pug.
She said: “In August 2021, I started feeling really ill all of a sudden.
“I even went to the GP because I was oversleeping and very lethargic all the time.
“The cup of teas tasted weird, but I always put it down the milk being off.
“One time, I woke-up to him shaking my arm and when I woke-up he looked so relieved, he even told me he thought I was dead!”
Ferneyhough also hacked her Facebook and sent messages to friends, urinated on her car, and contacted her colleagues telling them she had cheated on him.
Joanne kicked him out of their home in December 2021, and he threatened to ”burn the house down” – but he continued to harass her over messages.
He then disappeared but sent her audio clips threatening to kill himself and after a search, police found him in a field. In January 2022, Joanne told him the relationship was over.
Ferneyhough was arrested and admitted common assault, threatening to destroy property, engaging in controlling/coercive behaviour, and harassment at Stafford Crown Court in August 2022.
He was sentenced to 30 months in prison and despite struggling with anxiety afterwards, Joanne is finally moving on.
The pair first met in 2014 on a dating app and tied the knot three years later, in June 2017.
Within months of getting married, Joanne noticed a “possessive” side to her new husband.
She continues: “The day after our wedding day he said, ‘I own you know’.
“Things continued to go downhill from there.
“He also had a bad temper – slamming doors and punching holes in them.”
Joanne tried to end their relationship in September 2017, but scorned Ferneyhough continued to contact her.
He turned up at her work, slashed her tires, urinated on her car, and spread rumours about an affair around her office.
She got a restraining order, but Ferneyhough breached it by continuing to message her.
In October 2017, he was convicted for harassment against Joanne and jailed for 10 weeks.
After his stint in prison, Ferneyhough begged for her back, and she decided to give him one last chance.
How you can get help
Women's Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
- Always keep your phone nearby.
- Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
- If you are in danger, call 999.
- Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
- Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
- If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
- Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – messageinfo@supportline.org.uk.
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
Joanne also noticed his temper creeping back in when she began working from home in August 2021.
Ferneyhough kicked a cupboard while she was on virtual meeting calling her a “pathetic b****” and on another occasion threw a bacon roll at the wall.
She said: “He said that there was fat on the bacon, and he didn’t want it – so threw it at the wall.
“Another time he scrapped his whole plate of tea into the bin after I’d been cooking.”
Joanne kicked him out on December 17, 2021, and he threatened to burn the house down.
In January, Ferneyhough discharged himself from a mental health assessment and continued to message his wife, sending her audio clips saying he was cutting himself.
After a police search, he was found in a field and Joanne ended things for good with him when he was in the back of the police car.
“I was constantly looking over my shoulder and terrified of what he might do,” she continues.
“I eventually spotted the bottle of Bella’s medicine at home was nearly empty, as well as the sleep tablets I had been prescribed.
“I put two and two together and believed he had been drugging me, using that.”
Thomas Ferneyhough of Tixall Road, Great Haywood, Stafford, was arrested and admitted common assault – which was in relation to the drugging.
He was also convicted for threatening to destroy property, engaging in controlling/coercive behaviour, and harassment at Stafford Crown Court in August 2022.
The charges related to incidents between January 1, 2020 and November 30, 2021.
In mitigation Stephen Rudge said Ferneyhough “does latch on to women”, adding: “Once he is a relationship it is to the point where he becomes obsessed with them. He didn’t want to lose her, but his actions drove her away and made it worse.”
After being jailed for 30 months, Joanne struggled to sleep and suffers with anxiety after the ordeal.
She said: “I really hope I can help other women who find themselves in a similar situation.
“It’s so hard to let someone go when you want to do is help them.
“But the best thing you can do is get some help and speak out before things escalate.
“It’s really shaken my trust in men and having a relationship is the furthest thing from my mind.
“I was very lucky something worse didn’t happen.
“It’s been a really difficult time but I’m getting to a place where I can look after myself and move on with my life.”