Teen girls aren't the only ones squealing over BTS. Meet the 'Titas of BTS,' a group of older women who are giving younger boy band fans a run for their money.

• The "Titas of BTS" is a community of titas — or "aunties" in Tagalog — who fangirl over the K-pop group.
• Because BTS fans mostly skew young, some of these women say they've been shamed for their obsessions.
• The group has become a safe space for self-expression and to build new, meaningful friendships and support.

By day, 39-year-old Demai Granali plans events and handles social media as a public relations manager at a startup marketing agency in Manila, Philippines. When she comes home after a long day to her husband and kids, she'll clean, do her share of "mommy duties," and then sign into her second unofficial job: Running a Facebook group for about 13,000 fans of the South Korean K-pop band BTS.

Granali created "Titas of BTS" back in 2020, during the stage of the pandemic when everyone was locked down and had a lot of free time to roam the internet. As implied by its name, which uses the Tagalog word for "auntie," Titas of BTS only accepts ARMYs — the self-anointed name for BTS fans — of an older generation. The Facebook group has since become a kindred community for unlikely BTS listeners, who have proven time and time again that fangirling transcends age. 

These days, the Facebook group is flooded with worry over BTS's eldest group member, Jin, who began his mandatory military term in December. Most of the time, however, the group resembles a typical stan page: Members will post their favorite memes, share heartwarming stories of how they discovered the band, and start discussions about anything from new releases to fresh rumors. Occasionally, they even welcome "delulu content" — shorthand for "delusional" TikToks, where viewers assume the perspectives of their idol's significant other — as well as a cheeky thirst trap or two from the boys. 

Because these titas have been shamed for obsessing over a young boyband, the group has become a safe space to connect with each other and offer a more vibrant and authentic version of themselves.

Titas of BTS offers a judgment-free fandom zone

Granali admitted that, like many of her fellow titas, she's been judged by friends and family for stanning BTS at her age. It's the reason she founded the Facebook group: so she and others can express themselves openly and forge deeper bonds. "You're able to open yourself [up] and put yourself out there, and you can expect that others will do the same," she said.   

Crystal Sevilla went down the "purple rabbit hole," as she called it (purple is the official BTS fandom color) after her autistic son became hyper-fixated on the BTS track "Dynamite," during COVID lockdowns. The 39-year-old single mother found herself drawn to "Black Swan," with its haunting melody and message about the "first death" of an artist, or when an artist loses their passion. She said that the song reminded her that she didn't have to sacrifice what she loved doing just because she was living for and with someone else.

"Growing up, all I had ever known was painting. It was the one thing I loved best," she said. "Suddenly, my priorities shifted because I had my son, and slowly I found myself letting it go," she shared in between tears. "I got so caught up in the daily grind that I didn't realize I never had the chance to grieve parting with that passion."

If these fan communities are generally so positive, why are they subject to so much hate?

Experts say it's a confluence of factors — all of which can be traced back to age-old sexism. "Society wants to control what women are doing with our lives, and they want that we are prioritizing the 'right' things," said CedarBough Saeji, an assistant professor at Pusan National University of Korean and East Asian studies with a concentration on Korean contemporary culture in media. 

"At a certain age, you're supposed to be focused on family and career, then you disappear. You become invisible."

This phenomenon is also called the "invisible women syndrome" — when society collectively erases women as they reach menopause. Studies suggest that as women age, they're often disregarded in decision-making processes, viewed as disturbances, and misrepresented in data. This may also explain why older female fans are viewed with such disdain. 

"I can imagine that some of the people who react badly to older fans might be at the age when they don't want to acknowledge that somebody as old as their mom could also have sexual desire when it's very ridiculous to assume in the first place that that's all they're looking for in an idol," Saeji said.

"A lot of K-pop stars provide this example of how to be a hardworking, good person. They show us that you can work really hard and make your dreams come true regardless of where you stand in life, and that is something that can inspire anybody of any age." 

Younger fans who denigrate older fans may be doing their idols an injustice. "No real ARMY talks down to another ARMY. If you do, then you are going against the values that this band so obviously espouses," BTS Tita member Alya Honasan said. 

"As for me, though, that's the nice thing about being a BTS auntie of my age: I don't care what people think. I will enjoy what I want."

These days, Honasan unwinds from work by watching episodes of "Run BTS," a variety web series that features the band, or screens playlists of fan-made videos on YouTube. She also keeps her Tiny Tan figures on her desk to cheer her up and give her strength on particularly tough days. The fandom has only been beneficial in her life. One time, she told Insider, she got assigned a good plane seat just because she showed an attendant at the counter her Suga keychain. 

"I like how uncomplicated, genuinely kind, and truly funny they can be. BTS members are not preoccupied with looking cool all the time. They're good boys, and they have an amazing work ethic that every young person should emulate," Honasan said.

The group puts on events so everyone can meet IRL, and it's led to members building lifelong friendships

To celebrate the band's unparalleled international success in 2022, the Titas of BTS planned an epic party — in the middle of a crowded mall. Lucky titas got to pose cheekily next to 2D cutouts of BTS, while others were simply happy to play and even perform their favorite songs alongside ARMYs they had only ever seen in Zoom rooms.

The three-day affair concluded with a brilliant pyromusical display, and a shared understanding that as soon as the festivities concluded, all of them would have to watch their idols step back from the limelight and serve their country. (All able-bodied South Korean men must enlist in the military by the time they're 28 and are allowed to defer service up until the age of 30. They must serve for a minimum of 18 months.)

Upon seeing Jin's selfie sporting his new pre-enlistment haircut, the team decided to convert one installation into an interactive one where anyone could tie ribbons around the exhibit in honor of their "astronaut" (Jin played one in one of his last pre-enlistment videos). Attendees even shot an emotional video greeting to the band to express their well wishes.

But now that they have each other, they see no reason to be afraid of their band's future. Sevilla said that moments like this will stay with her forever — not only because she loves BTS, but because of the new friendships she's made through them. 

"There will come a time when BTS retires. We all know that. Like all boybands, they will come and go," she said. "But I hope I never have to imagine life without these ladies by my side. They are the greatest gift that BTS has given to me."