Sneed: Jim Durkin’s shining career had its share of comical miscues

Let’s have some fun!

A chuckle or two; a roil in the romp of private political blather during a Sneed interview with recently retired Illinois House Minority Leader Jim Durkin, 61, “a fiscally conservative Republican who calls it like I see it.” 

Let’s dig in.

Durkin, who detests Donald Trump, is a father of four girls who became an avid supporter of the 2018 passage of the Equal Rights Amendment. And he is the only Republican to support the assault weapons ban when it was first called for a House vote in the lame-duck session. He had a bumpy start in politics. 

“I worked hard to ensure my identity when I entered the Legislature,” said Durkin, one of eight brothers raised by an Irish Catholic labor union Democrat father in Westchester.

“Then… during the last days of my first session…. a senior Republican approached me on the floor and asked me to get her a cup of coffee! In a second, I was mistaken for a House page. My big splash had evaporated.”

Then, there was the Princess Anne caper. In 2019, Durkin received a “regal invitation” to a private reception for Great Britain’s Princess Anne in Chicago.

“I was stunned,” he said. “Well, well, I’ve certainly come a long way from the small house I shared with my brothers Tom, Kevin, Terry, Mike, Pat, Bob and Bill in our middle-class neighborhood, where I always sat at the little kids table. I had arrived!

“So I followed all the protocols, even curtsied … bowed my head … although Princess Anne seemed to roll her eyes when I told her I was head of the Illinois Republican House. 

“But, at the end of the reception, I found out my invitation was a mistake. I had been confused with U.S. Sen. Dick Durbin!”

And there was the “Case of the mismatched suit.” 

“We had a new baby. I was exhausted and had to catch an early flight to the [George W. Bush] White House to meet election officials after winning the Illinois Republican primary for the U.S. Senate. 

“It was the biggest interview of my life, and I blindly left home wearing a serious mismatch — a black suit with blue pants … pinstripes and all.

“I didn’t notice it until it was too late, but it became a harbinger of things to come; unanswered phone calls to the White House. No interest. I lost — the guy in the wrong clothes.”

And then there is Durkin’s adoration for the late Sen. John McCain, who supported him for the U.S. Senate.

“As state chairman of McCain’s presidential bid in 1998, we became great friends. In 2002, he attended an event pitching my U.S. Senate primary bid — along with my three young stepdaughters, who had skipped class to come.

“When a helicopter suddenly appeared, McCain shouted: “Girls. Look up! They found out you skipped classes and are coming to bring you back to school!’

“The girls, who were 5, 6 and 7, took the bait. And I’ve never heard such a howl from them since. 

“It was classic McCain, who’d always joke he’d never get killed in a plane crash. He’d always say: ‘I’ve crashed three planes, and one was shot out of the sky and winding up at the ‘Hanoi Hilton’ in Vietnam. You are safe with me.”

Durkin then segued to political grist enough for a good chew.

“When Gov. Bruce Rauner was sworn in, I sat next to Mike Madigan on the stage,” he said. “And the minute Rauner took his hand off the Bible and officially took office, Madigan nudged me and proclaimed: ‘HE is gone! HE is finally gone!’...referring, of course, to former Gov. Pat Quinn, whom he detested.”

The Rauner report: “Rauner and I dined together on a regular basis,” Durkin said. “But he always ordered salad. ‘Gotta stay healthy,’ he’d say while talking about his morning bird-hunting near Springfield.

”He once addressed a group of House Republicans in the governor’s mansion garden to ‘work as a team,’ while his dog, five feet away, unloaded a poop pile in back of him during the middle of his speech!”

Finally, Durkin’s dossier of politico descriptions during his office tenure:

• Govern ‘em: “Gov. Jim Edgar was the most unapproachable. … Gov. George Ryan was the most approachable and got things done. ... Gov. Rod Blagojevich was just plain disengaged.”
• Deal ‘em: Former state Sen. Barack Obama: “Loved playing cards, smoking cigarettes and drinking whiskey in the evening with his lobbyist and Legislature buddies in a private enclave off Springfield Capitol grounds.”  
• The piano man: “Former state Rep. Dan Burke was the most colorful member of the state Legislature, frequently sitting down at a Springfield piano bar enlivening zombie-like legislators with music after a long, tough day.

Durkin’s final note, on the most “miserable evening” of his tenure in office:  

“An uncanny night after harsh words and a bad week dealing with House Speaker Mike Madigan … and bingo … what were the chances of being seated next to him at a private dinner with my wife Celeste at Bruna’s Italian eatery. We were seated in a private backroom with only two tables filled. It was an evening of misery: We had just been at each other’s throats, and now he was 15 feet away.”

And so it goes! 

Sneedlings

Saturday birthdays: Basketball great Hakeem Olajuwon, 60; actress Geena Davis, 67; and singer Billy Ocean, 73. Sunday birthdays: actress Diane Lane, 58; actress Linda Blair, 64; and singer Steve Perry, 74.