Husband wants our nine-year-old daughter to call his new lover ‘mum’

DEAR DEIDRE: HE’S always been a Daddy’s girl, so when my husband left me for another woman it broke my daughter’s heart.

She was only nine years old at the time and would become so angry when he didn’t turn up to take her out.

I’m 41 and her dad is 45. It was very upsetting to see, as all she wanted was to spend time with her dad.

Sadly he seemed more interested in his new partner.

Last year he started paying more attention to her.

Perhaps because she is older and more interesting.

Initially I was pleased but now he’s told her she needs to call his new partner “mum”.

She is only 12 and feels awkward.

I’m furious. How do I tackle this?

DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband’s request is very insensitive and it’s understandable why you’re not keen on her calling your ex’s girlfriend “mum”.

Your daughter shouldn’t be pressured into this if she’s uncomfortable.

Could your ex be suggesting this to placate his girlfriend?

Talk to him and say your daughter is uncomfortable with this request.

Explain she wants to build a relationship with the new partner, but she already has a mum.

You may find it helpful to talk to Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, tel: 0808 800 2222) who can advise you both.