I just got laid off from Google by email. The 'cold' and 'inhuman' way they treated employees is why I'm not going to reapply.

• Google laid off 12,000 employees following cuts from other tech giants like Amazon and Microsoft. 
• Insider spoke with one laid-off software engineer who requested anonymity to protect his career.
• He said the way Google conveyed the layoff felt inhuman. Read his story as told to Samantha Delouya. 

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with a Google employee included in the company's 12,000-person layoff announced last Friday. He spoke on condition of anonymity to protect his career, but Insider has verified his identity and former employment. The conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

I discovered I had lost my software engineer job at Google when I woke up on Friday morning and checked my phone. In my personal inbox, I saw something about "your role at Google." Then I saw the word "unfortunately" in the first line and knew I got laid off. I didn't even finish reading the email. 

The way it was handled felt cold

I was shocked because I never expected Google to do something like this. The way they conveyed the layoff over email was really inhuman. 

I worked at Google for a little more than a year and really liked my job. For a software engineer, Google is a dream job. But seeing them treat their employees in such a way, even after we endured such hard job interviews to get into the company, it just feels really cold. 

The layoffs seemed random

Surprisingly, there were no signs that layoffs were coming. I'm kind of impressed with how they managed to keep the layoffs under wraps until the day they were announced. 

Everyone I spoke to was really shocked by who got laid off. It's clear it wasn't performance-based, because Google has a rating system, and I performed in the top 18% of employees. It wasn't based on tenure, either. I guess they just decided to cut off entire teams. 

I am on a student visa, and getting laid off puts me in a tough spot. I have to find a job in a limited amount of time because I have to undergo the H-1B lottery process. I don't have much time to find a new job before the March 1 application due date, so I may have to wait for next year. I only have 1 attempt left at H-1B, and if I don't get accepted, I'll have to leave the US entirely. 

I'm not reapplying to Google anytime soon

It will be especially tough to find a job since Amazon, Meta, and other big tech companies have had layoffs, so there are a lot of unemployed, highly skilled workers out there, and there are a limited number of open jobs. 

It all feels surreal because Google is still hiring right now. The worst part is that the employees who have been laid off are not given the option to move internally into those roles, unlike at Amazon or Meta. We have to apply externally, and we'll be treated like external candidates, even after contributing so much to Google. That's the part that hurts the most. I think it's bull****. 

Even though I need a job, I'm not going to apply for another role at Google in the near future. I don't really like the way they treat their employees. Why would I apply to Google as an external candidate and get a lowball offer for a similar role to the one I just had a few days ago? It doesn't make any sense.