Should I forgive my dying father despite him being dreadful to me and abusive to my mother?

DEAR DEIDRE: MY parents did nothing for me but now my father is dying, I’m expected to run to his bedside.

I’m a woman of 62 and my father is 85.

He was a dreadful father to me and abusive to my mother.

He beat my mother black and blue but she gave as good as she got.

I couldn’t wait to leave home at 16 and I’ve made a success of my life.

Now my dad’s sister has been in touch saying I must go and see him in hospital.

He hasn’t got long to live.

Why should I be made to feel guilty or should I forgive him?

DEIDRE SAYS: You shouldn’t be made to feel guilty or do anything you don’t want to do, but do consider if you will regret not saying your goodbyes.

You could perhaps get some answers from your father.

You must decide what is right for you.

Check out Stand Alone (standalone.org.uk) which helps people of all ages estranged from family.

There are support groups and free downloadable guides, too.