Husband is a DIY disaster – I’ve forked out £3k in fixing horrors after he painted our home flamingo pink ‘by mistake’
ACCIDENT-PRONE Craig Stephens loves to tackle odd jobs around the house – but admits he’s a total DIY disaster.
The 54-year-old isn’t afraid to get his own hands dirty to save cash on calling out the professionals.
But in his eagerness to give repairs a go, he’s managed to explode a cooker, smash a TV and once locked himself in a room while trying to swap a door handle.
Even the simplest of tasks seem to go wrong, including the time Craig — who works in video production — tried to change a light bulb and screwed it in so tightly, it smashed in his hand.
But spare a thought for his long- suffering wife Debbie, 59, a children’s author, who is at her wits’ end after having to fork out £3,000 to fix Craig’s mishaps over their 30 years together.
She says: “My heart sinks when I realise a job needs doing and Craig will want to do it himself. It’s like a dread of what’s to come.
“It’s never a straightforward job with Craig. Even easy jobs end in disaster. If you asked him to paint a wall, he would paint the radiators as well by mistake.
“He causes more damage and expense than he saves.
“There are lots of unfinished jobs in the house and every job takes Craig a lot longer than it would someone else.
“He says it’s ‘trial and error’, but there seems to be a lot of errors and not much progress.”
Unlike ambitious Craig, most householders don’t feel brave enough to complete even the simplest household tasks.
Hanging a picture frame is too difficult for 46 per cent, while 54 per cent don’t feel capable enough to change a light bulb.
Only 42 per cent can replace a fuse, while just over 40 per cent are confident they could turn off the water at the mains.
But Craig is full of self-belief and Debbie doesn’t have the heart to dampen his enthusiasm.
‘He does mean to help so I let him keep trying’
She says: “He’s happy doing DIY and he really does mean to help, so I let him keep trying.
“Having a sense of humour about it is essential. That’s the secret to surviving life with a DIY disaster like Craig. I don’t take it too seriously.
“As long as the whole house isn’t blown up, it’s all fixable. Life’s too short.
“You’ve got to laugh and get on with it.”
So far, Craig — who was diagnosed colour blind 15 years ago — has decorated the couple’s bedroom, but accidentally hung the floral wallpaper upside down.
He also painted the room flamingo pink instead of cream after trying to mix the colours himself.
And he flooded the room where their washing machine sits.
Craig’s bid to wire in a new cooker 15 years ago blew the electrics at their home in Portobello, Edinburgh.
Debbie explains: “He reassured me he could do it and kept saying, ‘It’s only three wires, this is simple’.
“When I rang an electrician to fix it, we were told that Craig had been connecting the wrong coloured wires.”
She added: “He volunteered to wall-paper our bedroom, but he didn’t know you are supposed to match up the pattern.
“The flowers were upside down, mis-matched and it looked really horrible, but Craig thought it looked lovely.
“Eventually I had to ask him to take it all down and we called a professional decorator.
“It looks fantastic now — I couldn’t bear to see another flower on the wall after the wallpaper disaster, so it’s plain magnolia.”
In October last year, the couple — who have grown-up sons aged 28 and 26 — bought replacement door knobs, which Craig reckoned was “a really easy job”.
After removing the existing handles and screwing on the new ones, Craig slammed one door shut and tested his handiwork.
‘Some jobs he tackled 20 years ago still aren’t fixed’
But he found the handle wouldn’t budge as he’d forgotten to reinsert the metal pole that turns the locks.
Craig was trapped for over an hour after Debbie couldn’t hear his calls for help.
And when he used a bracket to attach a £250 television to their son’s bedroom wall, it fell to the floor and smashed.
Debbie says: “I told him that the bracket didn’t look right, but he insisted it was fine. We had to buy our son a new TV.
“Some jobs he tackled 20 years ago still aren’t fixed either — he blew the electrics trying to fit a dimmer switch in 2003 and it still doesn’t work properly.”
Certain DIY tasks are strictly out of bounds for Craig, especially when he tries to dabble in anything that involves water.
Debbie refuses to let him, and says: “Anything to do with taps, baths and sinks, washing machines, he’s not allowed to touch. I have to keep a real eye on him and there’s some things I tell him he just can’t do because I know it will end very badly and cost us a fortune to repair.
“One time he tried to fix our washing machine but forgot to stop the water and flooded our utility room. So a leaky tap would make me too nervous.
“Despite Craig claiming we are saving money when he does jobs himself, it usually doesn’t work out like that because either something breaks which we have to replace, or we have to bring in a professional to redo the work.
“I can’t even imagine buying a house that needs renovating — who knows what sort of mess Craig would get into?”
Craig admits he’s a DIY disaster — but insists he enjoys giving odd jobs his best shot.
He says: “I think Debbie just expects things to go wrong when I’m doing DIY.
“Her face changes when I volunteer for a job — her eyes get bigger and she looks worried. I love giving things a go and I do try to learn from my mistakes.
“I love watching DIY shows to pick up tips. I think I do everything right — but it just doesn’t seem to work.”
TV CARPENTER WAYNE’S 5 TIPS
WITH one in three claiming to have zero DIY skills and one in four having no clue about how to bleed a radiator, TV carpenter Wayne Perrey, right, DIY expert on BBC’s Morning Live and Love Your Weekend with Alan Titchmarsh, reveals the tricks you can try at home.
- HOOVER YOUR BATHROOM EXTRACTOR FAN: Extractor fans remove moisture from bathrooms and kitchens to prevent condensation, but if they’re blocked with dirt or dust, they won’t work efficiently. Simply hold a tissue against the front and if it doesn’t stick, carefully take off the cover by removing the small screws (making sure it is switched off first) before sucking out fuzz with the hoover.
- TAKE PICTURES OF LEAKY TAPS: You can pick up a bag of washers for a couple of quid from hardware shops. Take a photo of the tap or its serial number (which you should find at the base) and use the image search on Google to bring up the instructions. In the unit underneath, there should be a mini stopcock. It has a slotted screw mark and you can use a flat-head screwdriver or a penny to switch it from on to off, to shut the water off while you do the repair.
- CORK WOODEN FLOORS TO KEEP HEAT IN: Wooden floors need gaps at the edges because they expand and contract throughout the year. But larger gaps can cause warm air to escape and let draughts in. Cork strips in 80cm lengths (available at places like Wickes and B&Q) can be easily cut with scissors and stuffed into gaps. Lay them into gaps and hammer home.
- FIX BEDSHEETS TO BACK OF CURTAINS: While flowy curtains might look nice, they don’t keep heat in. Attaching old bedspreads, tablecloths or sheets from charity shops to the back makes a big difference. You can attach them really easily using Wonderweb – you heat it up with the iron and, once it’s cold, it sticks solid. For heavier fabric, also use safety pins to secure at the top – nobody will see them.
- SPEND £2 TO BLEED RADIATORS: If air is trapped inside a radiator it won’t fill with water, which is what carries the heat. All radiators have a small square-shaped hole at the top called a bleed screw. Pick up a £2 radiator key and use it to release any air which is trapped inside. You must wait until the radiator is cold and remember to lay a towel on the floor to catch any drips. A hissing sound is a sign the air has been released.