The stupidest people are spreading a terrible Damar Hamlin clone conspiracy theory

There are no words for how stupid this all is.

Absolute morons, the stupidest, greediest parasites society has to offer, are peddling a conspiracy theory so dense it defies belief. Any hopes of ignoring “Damar Hamlin is a clone” have now gone out the window, with Hamlin himself feeling the need to poke fun at the grifters spreading the lie.

The theory, currently being peddled by people who think The Matrix is high art, goes a little something like this:

When Damar Hamlin collapsed on the field on January 2nd due to a cardiac episode during Bills vs. Bengals, he died. This was a live, real-time example of the dangers of the Covid-19 vaccine. Knowing a cover up was required, the NFL and the FBI quickly sprang into action to hide his death.

The FBI were dispatched to the University of Cincinnati Medical Center to ensure nobody saw Hamlin’s body. They kept visitors and teammates away from where Hamlin’s body was being stored, while the NFL worked its backchannels to arrange for a clone to take his place.

Over the next 72 hours the clone of Damar Hamlin was given extensive instruction on how to act like the Bills player, in order to fool his teammates in particular into believing the clone was the real Damar Hamlin. This is why the public didn’t get a firm update on his health status until January 5th, because prior to that the clone had been learning how to be like Hamlin.

The biggest test for the Hamlin clone came this past weekend. With the Bills set to host the Bengals the spotlight would be on Hamlin — so to achieve the goal of fooling the public, while also protecting Hamlin’s identity he was bundled up, with a gaiter covering his face, and a hoodie to hide his head.

Footage was limited, and most importantly only filmed through glass. We did not hear Hamlin speak, because the clone is still getting used to his speech patterns — but we did get a hidden sign. At one point Hamlin clone held up three fingers on each hand, a satanic symbol — while also putting his hands together in a diamond, a symbol of the New World Order.

This theory is being peddled on the fringes of the internet. On Twitter there are numerous accounts spreading the idea that Hamlin is a clone, the same can be found on Reddit where comments are RIFE — but one core video which is repeatedly being referenced comes from the TikTok account “barebonespodcast,” which has a logo of a skeleton speaking into a microphone. The heart is located where the lungs should be, so you should absolutely trust this person’s medical opinion. Also they say they work for the secret service.

This is par for the course for the account, which routinely claims people are trying to “cancel” the account, and get the man running it fired — despite nobody giving a single shit about it. “barebonespodcast” only has 1,597 followers, and averaged less than 1,000 views a post until the Hamlin theory. It’s 2023 though, truth is mutable to these people. There’s money to be made pretending to be a “truth teller,” because it’s far easier to find a handful of idiots to grift, than actually become an expert in a field.

That’s the entire cottage industry of conspiracy theorism. Prey on people who are ignorant and uneducated. Make them feel better about their lack of intelligence by convincing them they’re passively smart for not “buying in” to the “system.” This in turn makes the idiot a consumer, and they’re willing to lap up everything you sell — because lying about conspiracy has far less competition than anyone in pursuit of the truth. Once you indoctrinate someone they’ll follow you until the ends of the earth, at which point you can sell them subscriptions, or pillows, or financial advice, or life coaching.

Okay then Mr. Smart Man, tell me why this theory fails...

Where do we start?

1. It supposes the NFL, which can’t work out what a catch is and still uses old men to carry chains to measure 10 yards is also capable of advanced human cloning.
2. It would require untold numbers of people to all keep their mouths shut. In order to fake this we would need cloning scientists, medical professionals in Cincinnati, the county coroner, Bills players, transportation and logistics people, and Hamlin’s family to all be willing to keep a huge secret and risk their livelihoods to cape for the Covid vaccine.
3. It would mean millions of people were actually having issues from the vaccine, and not just your wife’s cousin’s best friend’s neighbor’s mail carrier’s daughter’s husband from having a heart attack because of the vaccine.

Why did he cover his face then?

Oh, I don’t know... but here are some ideas:

• He’s still recovering from a cardiac event and wanted to wear a mask to prevent infection
• It was extremely cold in Buffalo
• Hamlin might just not want to the intense public attention from people who aren’t his teammates

You have to be a fool to think something fishy is going on with Damar Hamlin

Stop being a moron. Stop getting your information from those who see your stupidity as a commodity to be leveraged. Pause for one second and see if any conspiracy theory about this is feasible, makes sense, or has a logical basis.

Is the person telling you this is a conspiracy wanting you to buy something? Are they asking for financial support so they can keep “telling the truth”? Is there a newsletter they want you to pay for, a book to sell, a podcast they’re trying to monetize — or an affiliate coupon code they’re wanting you to use to buy something so they get a cut?

Break the cycle of being the stupidest person in the room and read some peer reviewed studies. God help us, you are destroying society with how dumb you are. You’re unfortunately breeding and creating more morons in your image. You’re watering down the gene pool and encouraging more people to be stupid, just like you, because it’s a lot easier to say “I’m a free thinker” than being introspective and realize you were let down by a failing, underfunded education system, and the only way to correct the mistake is put in the work to learn independently and catch up on lost knowledge, instead of just listening to a podcast.

Let’s please be better.