My fiancé doesn’t want to marry me because I’m “no fun”

DEAR DEIDRE: FOR years my fiancé put off setting a wedding date and now he has said he’s not sure he wants to marry me. His reason? He says I’m “no fun”.

We have been together since I was 20. I’m 30 and he’s 32.
I’m so hurt and confused, and feel I’ve wasted my life with him.

He has been making excuses for years about why we couldn’t get married yet: money, the house, our job situations.

But last weekend, we both had a lot to drink and I said I was fed up waiting and wanted to make our relationship official.

His reaction totally shocked me.

He coldly said that I have become boring and needy, and I’m not the person I used to be.

He apologised the next day, but I can’t stop thinking about what he said.

DEIDRE SAYS: When people say hurtful things like this, it’s usually because they are feeling defensive.

Perhaps he is under stress you don’t know about. Or maybe he is unhappy in the relation-ship but still loves you, and doesn’t want to lose you.

Talk to him and ask if you can work this out together. But be honest – you want marriage, and if he doesn’t, then your relationship is in trouble.

Couples counselling could help. Contact tavistockrelationships.org.