My partner is an emotionally abusive drunk
DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my partner drinks, he gets abusive, just like my dad did.
I’m worried history is repeating itself and don’t know what to do. I’m 27 and my partner is 30.
When I was a child, my late dad drank too much.
He would come home drunk and be really nasty to my mum, me and my older brother, calling us names, telling us we were useless and swearing.
Although he was never physically violent, it made me feel scared and upset.
Now my partner, who is under stress at work, is drinking too much.
He is also a nasty drunk, unfortunately.
I told him I didn’t like the way he spoke to me, but he didn’t even apologise, which shocked me.
Although I love him, I’m worried that this is going to get worse.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Sadly sometimes, we will subconsciously pick a partner who feels familiar to us in some way, even when that is bad for us.
When he is sober, tell your partner how he made you feel when he was abusive, and that it brought back memories from your past.
My Drinking Problem support pack should help. And contact Adfam (adfam.org.uk) which supports families of people who have alcohol issues.