The thought of being with my stepson who is next door keeps me up at night

DEAR DEIDRE: I SPEND all night tossing and turning, my head full of lustful thoughts about my stepson who is asleep in the next room.

I’m not sure I’ll be able to resist joining him in his bed for much longer after he confided he would like to be the man to make me happy again.

All I can think about is us having sex and waking up next to him.

I think I’m falling for him and I think he is falling for me too.

So far, all we have done is kiss, but it won’t stay that way for long.

I’m 45 and my partner of six years cheated on me with one of his employees.

He’s 56 and when I found out he moved out to be with her.

I was devastated, and although it was awkward to begin with, his son, who had just moved in with us, was a huge support.

He was so thoughtful and told me that his dad was a fool for leaving me.

Whenever he found me moping around, he would say that I was beautiful and could easily find another man but I dismissed it as flattery.

Things only shifted when I saw him kissing another woman outside my house. I felt a sudden stab of jealousy.

I was so confused by my reaction and did my best to withdraw from him.

He detected a change in me and asked if I wanted him to move out.

I admitted to feeling envious, which is when he told me he really liked me.

He’s 39 and we both want a relationship but neither of us want to upset anyone in his ­family. He’s not particularly close to his father but he is to his mum.

We both want to go travelling and love the same football team.

I have a grown-up daughter and my stepson doesn’t want any children.

Is it illegal to have a relationship with your stepson?

I’m not sure we’re capable of stopping.

DEIDRE SAYS: It does sound like you have a natural affinity and certainly have plenty in common.

If he has never lived with you (with you caring for him as a step-parent while he was under 18), a relationship isn’t illegal, but you have to be realistic.

The family could be up in arms and his mother, whose approval he will want, might be utterly horrified.

Think very carefully – could your love withstand the pressures and compensate for what you both stand to lose?

If you decide to go ahead, be honest and open.

Talk to the family and explain how you both feel.

Ask yourself how you would feel if your daughter were to date an ex, to appreciate his perspective.