We love being swingers and have a secret signal to attract other couples like us… monogamy can kill relationships
FOR most couples sharing a hobby is usually something like cycling, DIY or art classes – but for childhood sweethearts Liv and Gage, leisure activities are a bit more spicy.
The Lincolnshire couple – who have been married for 11 years – are keen swingers and enjoy spending their spare time having sex with other people.
“Some people go dancing together, some people go to the gym together, and swinging is our little hobby,” Liv tells The Sun.
“We’ve been doing it for about five years and we love the lifestyle.”
Flight attendant Liv, 30, and account manager Gage, 31, appear in tonight’s episode of Sex Actually with Alice Levine.
They’re seen welcoming a couple into their home for a coffee and a chat about golf, before the foursome disappear to the bedroom for “playtime”.
In an exclusive chat, they reveal the surprising signs that help swingers spot each other in a crowd – including an upside down pineapple in a shopping trolley.
“The pineapple motif has become big in recent years,” says Liv, who wears a gold necklace featuring the fruit.
“It’s a way to wear a sign discreetly, so it might be a necklace or anklet with a pineapple, and that’s usually code that they are into the lifestyle, although you have to be careful how you ask.
“But on a recent holiday in Cancun, Mexico, there was woman in a full-on pineapple dress with pineapple shorts and a pineapple shirt, so they were obviously into it.”
While the upside down pineapple in a supermarket trolley or pineapple jewellery can be a sign, Gage says it can be misconstrued and lead to awkward conversations.
“You can ask them, ‘Are you in the lifestyle?’ But if they look confused then you say, ‘Ignore me!’ and run,” he chuckles.
“Another sign is a black wedding ring on your right hand.”
Pampas grass in the garden – once considered a symbol of swinging or “wife swapping” – is now a thing of the past.
“It just grows anywhere and it’s such a nice plant,” says Liv.
“It’s also become big in interior design, so people have moved away from that as a sign of swinging.”
Pillow talk led to hook-up
Liv and Gage met when they were 16 and 17 respectively, and Gage proposed on Liv’s 18th birthday.
Five years ago, while lying in bed, she told him she was bisexual and would like to delve into sex with other women – and they began to look into hook-up sites.
“We were shocked at how many people out there are meeting up with other couples,” says Liv, who talks about the lifestyle as Vista Wife on TikTok and Instagram.
“It is really common. But finding a single woman who wants to hook up with a couple is rare so we decided to branch out.
“We met our first couple six weeks after we joined and on the first meet, there were no expectations.
“We were just going to head over for a drink and see how we felt about it. But we went all the way.”
Gage admits the first time was nerve-wracking.
“You meet one person, you marry them, and that’s the only person you have sex with, so when you go outside of that social norm, it’s treading new waters and you don’t really know what to expect,” he says.
“But the couple that we met were so welcoming and helped us ease into it.”
Players’ code
As well as the symbolism behind the lifestyle, Gage reveals the couples abide by strict codes to make sure “playtime” has no dark side.
“The etiquette is that when you meet a couple, you create a group chat and you never go outside that group and start messaging one-on-one,” he says.
“So if anyone tried to message Liv on her own, that crosses a line.”
Liv adds: “Everybody has different boundaries. Our number one rule is protection at all times, safe sex.
“The other one is that we both need to be comfortable. Whether we are hooking up separately or together, we both need to be comfortable.
We met our first couple six weeks after we joined and on the first meet, there were no expectations. We were just going to head over for a drink and see how we felt about it. But we went all the way
Gage, swinger
“Other people may have different rules and boundaries – for example, the guy doesn’t play with the other girl or there’s no kissing involved.
“It’s about respecting them, having a discussion before anything happens, and making sure everybody understands them.”
Protective of his wife, Gage says Liv’s welfare is in the forefront of his mind whenever they are “playing”.
“If I’m with a woman, I’m still making sure Olivia is comfortable and we have code words,” he says.
“She’s a submissive woman, so saying ‘stop’ can be a bit difficult. If she asked me for a lemonade, that’s the sign she wants something to stop.”
‘Normality is a killer’
While the couple indulge in the lifestyle both together and apart, as well as attending sex clubs, they insist there’s no jealousy and say the swinging makes their sex “mind-blowing”.
“Normality can be a killer,” says Gage. “If you’re truly monogamous, you get used to your partner, you know what they’re about, what they like in bed, and you don’t think they’re going to go anywhere else because you’re married.
“When you introduce a third person, you understand that other people are interested in your partner and then there’s this connection where you see how lucky you are.”
The couple, who class themselves as “emotionally monogamous”, say that “reclaiming” your partner after they have had sex with others brings them closer.
“It’s like going back to the honeymoon period, or when you started dating and were excited to see each other,” says Liv.
“It’s kind of reconnecting with each other after being with someone else.”
Liv adds that after an encounter, they can’t keep their hands off each other for weeks.
“The sex is really good with other people, but once they’ve left I’m like, ‘Oh my God, come here’,” she says.
“That sex is mind blowing.”
Sex Actually airs Mondays at 10pm on Channel 4. The full series is available to watch on All4.