A Fool Through And Through: This Woman Thinks She Might Be Better At Working If She Had A Slightly Different Desk

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a better version of yourself, but to think you can do so through easy fixes that require little to no effort is foolish, if not downright delusional. Case in point: This woman thinks she might be better at working if she had a slightly different desk.

Wow. It’s not gonna work, lady!

Kelly Mattheson of Raleigh, North Carolina has been working from home as a graphic designer for the past three years, and has recently been struggling with procrastination and lack of focus—two problems that she is convinced would magically disappear if only she were to purchase a marginally bigger, marginally more attractive desk with perhaps a different drawer configuration or leg height than the one she has now. Each day, Kelly finds herself in a slump by 10:30 am, and is barely able to complete the bare minimum work she needs to do. But rather than get up and exercise or meditate in order to focus her mind, she spends literal hours googling terms like “desk height productivity” and “interior design energy levels” under the impression that dropping $600 on a different surface for her computer would somehow fundamentally change her work ethic, cognitive abilities, and overall career trajectory.

Kelly has convinced herself that the five inch difference in length between the desk she has and the kind she wants could make or break her future job prospects, as having the extra space where she could place a notebook might make her more apt to write down important specs and ideas for her projects, even though absolutely nothing about her existing work habits would suggest she’ll actually follow through with this. Kelly can vividly imagine herself pounding out efficient eight hour workdays at almost any other desk than the one she has currently, despite the fact that a different desk would not in any way thwart the actual factors that are preventing her from getting work done, like her social media addiction, gossipping with coworkers on Slack, and going off to tend to her dog any time she feels even the slightest bit of boredom. 

Some people do literally all their work at their kitchen table and are perfectly fine, but okay, Kelly.

Clearly, it’s not Kelly’s desk that’s holding her back. What’s likely holding her back is the fact that she actively hates her job, which is why she does not work hard at it. It must also be noted that her current desk is perfectly serviceable and in fact not all that different from any of the ones she’s coveting. Still, she feels strongly that her current desk is simply “not inspiring enough,” and that there is “just something about a nice desk” that “makes you sit down and get to it.” Go figure. Good luck to Kelly, though, and here’s hoping that, new desk or not, she’s able to find the motivation she needs to turn things around.