A mom went mega-viral with a video showing her daughter crying after she heard her 'screaming' in bed, as some viewers accuse her of traumatizing her child

• A video of a mom comforting her daughter who heard her "screaming" in bed went mega viral.
• The upload was viewed over 40 million times on TikTok and received over 40,000 comments.
• It divided opinion among viewers, some of whom thought it would be a "traumatizing" experience.

A video of a mother apologizing to her six-year-old daughter who heard her "screaming" in the bedroom went mega-viral on TikTok, as viewers discussed whether it was a funny or traumatic experience for the child.

On February 28, 31-year-old TikToker Jayci Underwood shared a video with the caption, "Omg" alongside a series of emojis, including various that are often used to express embarrassment.

In the upload, a man could be seen standing at the foot of a bed, while a voice from behind the camera asked him to repeat what he had just said. "Our daughter's crying right now 'cos she heard you screaming." The man could then be heard saying, "She wanted to make sure you were OK." 

The couple then laughed before the video cut to a conversation between the mom and her daughter, who could be heard crying as she said, "I heard you screaming and I wanted to know what's wrong but no one was answering me." The TikToker could then be heard comforting the daughter by telling her she wasn't hurt, and apologized for scaring her. 

Underwood has 190,000 followers on the app, where she uploads videos about motherhood, toddler activites, and postpartum depression. But this video went mega-viral, receiving over 40 million views, and was widely interpreted as referring to the child overhearing her parents having sex.

The viral video divided opinion among viewers

The video received over 40,000 comments, many of which saw the funny side. However, others said the incident could be potentially traumatic for the child and remembered having similar experiences growing up that had stuck with them.

On February 28, a Twitter user re-uploaded a clip of the video and wrote they didn't find it "funny in the slightest" and that "if you have a child in the house why would you SCREAM during intercourse with your partner? children don't know what you're doing, and even if they did it's incredibly disrespectful and traumatising for them?"

—sól ???????? (@sisterlelianas) February 28, 2023

The tweet received over 7.3 million views and 84,000 likes. More than 4,400 people quote-tweeted the video, with many echoing the sentiment, while others defended a parent's right to have sex in their own home, and thought the criticism should come from the fact that she filmed her child crying.

In an interview with Today.com, Underwood said she doesn't believe kids should be used for content, but decided to post the clip as she "knew it would be so relatable and funny to adults." Underwood told the outlet she "felt terrible" at the idea that her daughter thought she was in physical pain, and she and her husband are careful to always lock the door when they have sex.

In a follow-up video posted on March 7, Underwood implied she'd seen the reaction to her TikTok, but said that instead of "responding to any of it" she decided to read out a list of topics she said were "far more important than a stupid viral video of mine." (The list included Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber, and the reality TV show "Vanderpump Rules.")

At the end of the upload, which was just under two minutes long and received 59,000 views, Underwood could be heard asking when her viewers had last "touched some grass" and asked, "Are you guys OK? Is everybody good? Because we're good over here."

After initially responding to Insider's request for comment, Underwood did not provide a comment for publication.

Hearing parents having sex isn't always going to be cause for trauma, according to an expert

Dr. Barbara Greenberg is a clinical psychologist based in Fairfield County, Connecticut, who specializes in parenting, adolescence, and communication. She told Insider in her three decades of experience, the topic of children overhearing their parents in bed is one that "comes up repeatedly."

Greenberg said there are two elements to consider in order to determine whether this could potentially be a traumatic experience for the child. "If the child doesn't talk to anybody about it, and hears screaming repeatedly, and doesn't have a context for it, that could be traumatic," she said. "If it's a one-time incident, and the child is confused, but not alarmed, that would be less likely to be a trauma." 

The context, she said, is an important factor, as a child or adolescent who may overhear their parents in the bedroom but is fully aware of what is happening is less likely to experience trauma as a result. "A three or four-year-old who hears screaming is going to be terrified, as opposed to a 15-year-old who knows what sex is."

Trauma is also based on how the adults react after the event. "It really is contingent on how this is responded to by the parents," Greenberg said, advising that any parent who finds themselves in a similar situation should not only apologize, but also explain that screaming or unfamiliar sounds aren't always a cause for alarm, and that people make noises for different reasons that could be an expression of joy or excitement. 

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