My partner thinks I’ve been unfaithful and refuses to have sex with me
DEAR DEIDRE: I DON’T agree with cheating so why does my partner keep insisting that I’ve done the dirty on him?
We’ve been together for seven years and I would never be unfaithful.
It’s sex that is the issue.
We never have full intercourse these days.
He says he doesn’t want to because, he says, I have been with others behind his back.
But he is happy to have oral sex with me.
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I don’t get it. He’s 60 and I’m 49.
He’s had Viagra from the doctor and that used to work but we have to be so organised and sometimes, by the time we have had some foreplay, his erection has disappeared.
He is not even bothering to take the medication now.
When I try to talk to him about it, he says, “Next time. Next time”.
I’m fed up. I really want to have full sex again.
I love him so much and he treats me well but I don’t think he trusts me.
READ MORE FROM DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: He’s deflecting the attention away from himself in the cruellest way possible – saying he doesn’t trust you.
He may have classic performance anxiety but before getting this fixed, tell him you want him to get a well-man check with his GP to ensure everything is in order.
If it is, tell him the lack of intercourse is a problem for you both to tackle.
My support pack Sex Play Therapy explains techniques that sex therapists recommend, taking your time in igniting those feelings of passion again.