Feeling Nothing After A Break Up? You're Probably 'Numbing'

So it’s happened, you have officially broken up with your partner – well, now ex.

Maybe you knew it was coming but wanted to ignore it. Perhaps you had no idea and were taken aback by the sudden end of your relationship. Regardless of how it ended, break-ups are not easy.

So, when you find yourself feeling numb after a breakup you might question yourself. Whether it’s happiness or sadness, you expect to feel something after ending a relationship. So when you feel numb, it can feel strange. 

Sex and relationships expert, Melissa Stone, at Joy Love Dolls describes feeling numb as an absence of feeling or emotion. It’s described as ‘numbing’ because the sensation makes it difficult to feel anything at all.

“It can be a feeling of detachment or disconnectedness, like the world is happening around you but you can’t or don’t want to feel a part of it. Numbness can sometimes lead to a sense of emptiness or a lack of motivation; with notable mental health issues arising for some,” Stone adds.

Are you experiencing feelings of numbness after a relationship? Keep reading.

Why do some people feel numb after a relationship?

“A breakup from a relationship can be tough, leaving some to feel numb because they are trying to cope with multiple losses all at once – including their romantic relationship, friendship and companionship,” Stone explains.

“We’re adjusting to not being able to see our partner’s family or friends which for some can be a pivotal part of a relationship. |They may be struggling to make sense of their emotions and trying to adjust to the changes in their life. The numbness can be a way to protect themselves from the pain and upset of the breakup and to help them distance themselves from the overwhelming emotions.”

Is it normal to feel numb after a relationship?

You might be concerned that your feelings of numbness signify a bigger issue. Did I really care about my ex? Am I already over them? But these feelings are valid and normal.

“Relationships naturally harbour a huge amount of emotion, so once you break away from this, it can leave an unimaginable void,” Stone says.

“Numbness is a normal reaction to a major life change and can be a coping mechanism for dealing with the pain and confusion of a breakup. It is important to remember that it is a normal part of the healing process and can be a necessary step in order to move on.”

Can feeling numb be a defence mechanism?

Yes, it can be a way to help us avoid the pain of a breakup, which is another form of loss.  However, it is completely valid to feel negative emotions after a breakup, according to Stone.

“So it’s best not to worry too much about how you should be feeling and try to deal with your current emotions step by step and how you can reach a place of comfort.”

“While feeling numb can be a necessary step in the healing process, it should not be a long-term coping strategy. It is important to eventually address the underlying feelings and emotions by talking to someone in order to move on in a healthy way,” Stone says.

So if everything feels a bit... nothing... after your breakup, just know it’s a normal part of the healing process – you got this.