12 People Told Us Their Most Unhinged Date Stories And We're Still Gobsmacked
Let’s be real – although dating is meant to be fun, it can be absolute chaos, especially when it comes to that all important first date.
Some can have sparks flying, chemistry and sexual tensions. Others are enough to put us off dating for life.
And okay, love and romance is all nice and stuff, but if we’re being honest with ourselves, the thing we actually enjoy hearing about the most are dating horror stories.
We asked for your most unhinged first stories and boy, you guys did not disappoint.
Buckle up — these stories may just convince that you love is dead.
1. The Budding ‘Artist’
He insisted on drawing my portrait at a National Gallery late and bragged about being "the best drawer in his middle school." I still have it. I might get it framed pic.twitter.com/h1658ljyyl
— allysinyard (@allysinyard) March 10, 2023
2. The Opportunist
he started the date with me, he ended the date with my flatmate ????
— tum (@tweeetum) March 11, 2023
3. The ‘Reformed’ Compulsive Liar
“I was on a date with a girl who wouldn’t let me leave! We met for a coffee, then she wanted to go for a bubble tea as I had never had one, and proceeded to tell me all about how she “was” a compulsive liar and it’s important to her that she’s honest with me from the get go…
“She then made me go on the big wheel, I’m terrified of heights, and I had a chest infection and was really struggling… I took out my phone to book an Uber and she TOOK IT OFF ME.
“She then walked into YoSushi, with my phone still on her possession, so I followed and she sat and ordered 3 plates of food (I had none and kept asking for my phone back) and she insinuated that I should pay for her food - to which I declined and she said it would’ve been nice if I just bought her dinner on the first date.
“It didn’t even end there - she kept my phone and walked into a pub and ordered herself two drinks, me none as I didn’t drink at the time as I was on antibiotics, and I literally had to grab my phone out of her pocket and left her there and blocked her on my way out.” – Anonymous
4. The ‘Rapper’
He kept freestyle rapping (a middle class white man) at me. Also at the bar tender, the uber driver, my flatmate. In hindsight, he should never have had the chance to meet my flatmate.
— Zara Jayant (@ZaraGiant) March 10, 2023
5. The ‘Love At First Sight’ Guy
Ate burgers in his car while showing me 100 photos from his last family trip back home w/ details about who was in each one & what they were doing; then proceeded to tell me he “loved” me as he drove me back to my car. Insisted on a kiss, then says “you aren’t very good at this.”
— Charlene Gage (@RulesofCharlie) March 11, 2023
6. Maybe we’re the problem?
“I was taken to a private members club on our first date and he kissed me and I projectile vomited everywhere. Afterwards I ran to the bathroom, fell into the cubicle while projectile vomiting and ripped the wallpaper off the wall because it was so severe… I gargled some water out the tap and got some chewing gum and left the bathroom as if nothing happened.” – Anonymous
7. The Party Animal
“Went back to the guy’s house after the first date went well but his flat was manky. Like, DISGUSTING.
“I perched on his bed while he went to make another drink, and after 20 mins I wandered down and saw he’d passed out face down on the couch. I couldn’t drive home cause I’d been drinking, so I went back into bed.
“I then woke up to him apologising and begging me not to leave. Made up some excuse about having to leave for work, and he then spat in my face and asked if I liked that. No second date.” – Anonymous
8. The Alan Partridge Fan
“I once had a guy leave half way through a pint because I don’t like Steve Coogan… We were chatting about comedy and he said how much he liked Alan Partridge.
“I said I didn’t find him that funny so my date said it wasn’t worth dragging it out and left.” – Anonymous
9. The Rebound
10. The Misogynist
Had a guy pick me up in a Lamborghini (barf) and rev the engine as often as possible. He asked me if - as a soccer goalkeeper - I was worried the ball would hit me in my face or nails. Tried to order for me. I asked for the check early and then refused a ride home. Opted for MUNI
— Martha Shaughnessy (@SFShag) March 10, 2023
11. The ‘Self Love’ Friend
He told me during the date he didn’t fancy me but could we be friends? Missed my bus home, his was nearby so went there to call a taxi (early 2000s) Went to the loo while I waited. Went into the living room to find him watching porn, having a wank. Got out sharpish
— Catherine Renton (@rentswrites) March 10, 2023
12. The Escape Artist
I climbed out of a toilet window. Wouldn't recommend, but still, better than his chat.
— Alice Revel (@AliceRevel) March 10, 2023
Excuse us while we delete all our dating apps....