Quitting my job as a flight attendant saved my dating life
Deklofenak/Getty, pongnathee kluaythong/Getty, Tyler Le/Getty
- My romantic relationships have drastically improved since I quit my job as a flight attendant.
- Many men fantasized about dating a flight attendant but couldn't handle my work schedule.
- Putting "writer" on my dating profile has led to fewer, but more substantive, connections.
During the decade I worked as a flight attendant, online dating was my go-to method for meeting potential partners.
It didn't take long to realize my career, which admittedly looked glamorous and exciting from the outside, drew many men in like moths to a flame.
In most cases, they found the idea of having a fling with a flight attendant a lot more appealing than the reality of having a serious relationship with one.
Leaving the job behind to pursue writing was the best thing I could've done for my romantic relationships.
Being a flight attendant seemed to tick a box in the dating world
Listing my occupation as a flight attendant on my dating profile prompted a flurry of excited direct messages, corny pickup lines, and notes that had me hitting the block button faster than a plane crew reaches for life jackets during an emergency landing.
Don't get me wrong, I got a lot of nice messages as well, and I understand how challenging it can be to think of a witty opening line. Commenting on a unique job is an easy way to start a conversation. Still, I haven't wrapped my head around many men's fascination with dating flight attendants.
It felt like I was ticking off a box for some people. Years ago, I was taken aback when a person I was newly dating asked if he could tell people he'd slept with a flight attendant.
It made me question whether I was just fitting into his fantasy, or if he thought I'd invite him on flights to exotic destinations. Regardless, he's now my ex.
Getty Images
Relationships with flight attendants usually end up being a far cry from what most people imagined
My schedule was extreme because I worked on private jets and mostly serviced international routes, so not all flight attendants are at the plane owners' beck and call like I was.
Sometimes, I didn't even know my next destination or the length of time I'd be gone. On quite a few occasions, I was out of the country for months at a time. I'd have a couple of days at home before leaving again. This schedule was a lot for me, and it put my relationships to the test.
I was often socializing with the other flight attendants or at room parties thrown by the pilots and crew members, several time zones away from my partner. If there wasn't trust, there could be problems.
Most of the men I dated couldn't handle my schedule. Those who had similarly demanding careers — like one of my exes who traveled for his Army job — tended to be an exception.
Things didn't get much easier when I finally returned home, as I was exhausted, jet-lagged, and desperate to sleep. One evening, I dragged myself out for a date night and get called midway through the evening to report for a trip.
The allure of dating a flight attendant fell apart pretty quickly in a lot of my relationships, but if a partnership works out, it can be amazing. The flight attendants I've worked with are some of the most caring, well-traveled, and empathetic people I've ever met.
The quality of my dating life has vastly improved since I switched careers
I've replaced "flight attendant" with "writer" on my dating profile. It doesn't ignite nearly the same reaction, but since making the change, I feel as though men are genuinely interested in me as opposed to solely being interested in my career.
Surface-level questions about the best place I've visited are replaced by deeper, more meaningful conversations that invite me to share the real me, not just the one in the uniform.
Dating can feel like a minefield no matter what. However, since I've left flying, I've had more time at home and more opportunities to get to know people.
Being able to invest time and energy into someone, rather than fitting them into narrow windows between flights, has made dating feels less chaotic and more enjoyable. I can finally be in it for the long haul.