Beverage of the Week: Are Quest's protein snacks good enough to justify $40 per pound price?

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

Look, this feature used to be called “Beer of the Week.” Then liquors and sodas started showing up and it became “Beverage of the Week.” We’re already playing kind of fast and loose with the rules, so if I want to review a whole brand of snacks, I’m gonna.

So rather than rename this “Thing of the Week” I’m just gonna bend the definition of beverage and claim it a St. Patrick’s Day and/or March Madness religious allowance. We’ve all gotta eat something to power through 14 hours of basketball right? Why not opt for the protein-dense, “athlete-worthy nutrition” of Quest’s Protein Chips and related sundries?

It’s a little weird to see “nutrition” slapped on a bag of Cheez-It-adjacent crackers or peanut butter cups, but the label suggests there’s value beyond the quick satiation and immediate shame of destroying an entire bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. There’s 10 grams of protein in a serving of their cheese crackers, eight in the peanut butter cups and an impressive 18 to 20 (against 140 to 150 calories) in the brand’s tortilla chip lines. If nothing else, these snacks should do an efficient job filling you up.

I am, full disclosure, a moderate protein guy. I’ve been turning to it more as I get older, mostly because my workouts suck now and aging is like being trapped in the later seasons of a beloved show and being forced to watch the superior early episodes every time you go to the gym. I am Nelly, sadly shuffling through burpees and watching Prison Mike elucidate the dangers around him.

Mostly that involves dropping a scoop of protein powder into my morning coffee. I understand that’s probably not how you’re meant to do either beverage but it gives me caffeine and tastes like birthday cake so you cannot convince me it’s wrong. Anyway, that’s given me awareness of Quest — though I know them primarily from their protein bars, which I don’t really eat — but not the snacks they so graciously shipped my way for review.

So hey, let’s see how they taste and if they can get you through the NCAA tournament.