My wife has left me and taken our dog after affair with dodgy-looking neighbour
DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my partner agreed to walk the dog for our dodgy-looking neighbour, I never dreamt she would soon start having sex with the guy.
This man is the opposite of me — covered in tattoos, into drugs and drinking, and reckless with money. I’m devastated.
I thought my partner and I were best friends. I’m 35, she’s 31 and we’ve lived together for seven years. We were talking about getting married and having kids.
Four months ago, a man moved into our street. He’s about 40, but dresses like a teenager, with band-logo T-shirts and long hair.
When I said he looked a bit unsavoury, my partner agreed. We often bumped into him while walking our Labrador.
He has a mangy mongrel. When he asked if we’d be willing to walk his dog, as he was often touring with his band, my partner said she’d be happy to.
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It seemed an ideal way to make some extra cash.
She started taking his dog out with ours twice a day. He even gave her a spare key to his flat.
One evening, two weeks ago, she went to walk the dog and texted me to say she was staying for dinner.
She didn’t come home until after midnight!
This led to a massive row. She told me I’d become boring and middle-aged, and he’d reminded her what being young was like.
I asked if they had slept together and she admitted they’d been having an affair for a few weeks. I was so shocked, I was physically sick.
She has now decided to move out — and she is taking the dog with her. She says she loves me but we want different things.
I can’t cope with the loss and betrayal. And worse, she’s still seeing this man, so I can’t avoid bumping into them.
I’m missing my dog terribly.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like your partner’s affair was symptomatic of her dissatisfaction with your relationship.
The fact she has gone for someone who is the opposite of you suggests she felt she wasn’t ready for marriage and kids.
Unfortunately, she wasn’t honest with you, and so you didn’t see this coming. Getting over this won’t be quick or easy, but I promise it won’t always feel this painful.
Read my support pack, Mending A Broken Heart for more advice.
Ask her to reconsider about your pet. If she refuses, could you volunteer as a dog walker, until you are ready to consider getting a new dog.