My friend Jamal Edwards’ death broke my heart so much I’ll never take drugs again, says Ed Sheeran
SINGER Ed Sheeran has vowed never to do drugs again after the death of his best pal.
Ed, 32, says in an emotional interview that it would be “disrespectful” to music mogul Jamal Edwards, who died last year aged 31 after taking cocaine.
Superstar Ed has revealed he used drugs twice a day — but has now sworn off them for good after the shock of his best friend’s death.
Ed said: “I would never, ever, ever touch anything again, because that’s how Jamal died.
“And that’s just disrespectful to his memory to even, like, go near.”
In an emotionally charged interview, Ed also opened up about his struggles with suicidal thoughts and binge-eating.
Discussing his drug use in detail for the first time, the Shape of You singer told how he started taking them in his mid-20s, then gradually became hooked.
Ed said: “I was always a drinker. I didn’t touch any sort of like, drug, until I was 24.
“I remember just being at a festival and being like, ‘Well, if all of my friends do it, it can’t be that bad.’ And then sort of dabbling. And then it just turns into a habit that you do once a week and then once a day and then, like, twice a day and then, like, without booze. It just became bad vibes.”
In 2017, he hinted that childhood sweetheart Cherry Seaborn had helped him fight substance abuse.
However, he has insisted he would never reveal what he had taken, as he does not want their young daughters Lyra, two, and Jupiter, ten months, to find out.
Following Jamal’s death from a cardiac arrhythmia, Ed spent a week with his tragic friend’s mother, Loose Women panellist Brenda, 54, who later urged people not to take drugs.
It also coincided with Ed’s wife of four years, Cherry, 30, being diagnosed with a tumour, which left him feeling suicidal.
In an emotional interview with Rolling Stone, Ed said: “I felt like I didn’t want to live anymore.
“And I have had that throughout my life . . . You’re under the waves drowning. You’re just sort of in this thing. And you can’t get out of it.”
But he says his thoughts felt “selfish . . . especially as a father. I feel really embarrassed about it.”
Ed told fans earlier this month how Cherry’s tumour was discovered when she was six months pregnant with Jupiter.
Now he has revealed that she managed to deliver the child safely and underwent successful surgery in June.
On her health battle, he said: “There’s nothing you can do about it. You feel so powerless.”
Ed, who has been on his Mathematics World Tour since last April, said going to therapy has helped improve his own mental state — though the battle is ongoing.
The Suffolk-based star explained: “My best friend died. And he shouldn’t have done. I’ve always had real lows in my life.
“But it wasn’t really ’til last year that I actually addressed it. No one really talks about their feelings where I come from.
“People think it’s weird getting a therapist in England. I think it’s very helpful to be able to speak with someone and just vent and not feel guilty about venting.
“Obviously, like, I’ve lived a very privileged life. So my friends would always look at me like, ‘Oh, it’s not that bad.’ The help isn’t a button that is pressed, where you’re automatically OK. It is something that will always be there and just has to be managed.”
Ed said the imminent arrival of first daughter Lyra in 2020 prompted him to quit drinking spirits.
He recalled: “Two months before Lyra was born, Cherry said, ‘If my waters break, do you really want someone else to drive me to the hospital?’
“Because I was just drinking a lot. And that’s when it clicked. I was like, ‘No, actually, I really don’t.’ And I don’t ever want to be p***ed holding my kid. Ever, ever. Having a couple of beers is one thing. But having a bottle of vodka is another thing.
“It’s just a realisation of, ‘I’m getting into my thirties. Grow up! You’ve partied, you’ve had this experience. Be happy with that and just be done.’
“I love red wine, and I love beer. I don’t know any old rockers that aren’t alcoholics or sober, and I didn’t want to be either.”
Ed also addressed industry rumours of a romance with his close pal Jamal. Earlier this year, he released a freestyle, F64, where he rapped: “People assumed that we were lovers.”
He said: “That was a big rumour in the industry. And I don’t think anyone thought that I knew the rumour. But I get it, man. I lived in his room. Like, I get why people would think that. We used to go on holidays together.”
On May 5, Ed releases Subtract, the fifth and final studio album in his series of records named after mathematical symbols.
He also has collaborations coming with Justin Bieber, Shakira, David Guetta and Pharrell Williams.
But he is planning another five-album series named after a different category of symbols – the last of which, he reveals, will be released posthumously.
Ed said: “I want to slowly make this album that is quote-unquote ‘perfect’ for the rest of my life, adding songs here and there.
“And just have it in my will that after I die, it comes out.”
Despite massive global success over a number of years, Ed says he still needs approval.
He explained: “I spent so long with people laughing about me making music. Everyone saw me as a joke, and no one thought I could do it.
“And I think that’s still the drive. There’s still this need to prove myself.”