My ex’s wife sent me an upsetting text to let me know he had died

DEAR DEIDRE: I GOT an upsetting text from the wife of a man I used to date telling me that he had died.

She said she didn’t know her ­husband had kept in touch with me.

She was lovely and very understanding but I feel bad.

I’m 53 and married. My husband is 55. We’ve been together for six years.

I had dated this man ten years ago. We split up after a year, but remained on good terms.

I kept in touch with him by messaging on his birthday and at Christmas.

I have been open and honest about him with my husband.

Nothing at all has been hidden. This other man always regretted that things didn’t work out.

He had also gone on to marry and was happy too.

I am heartbroken and also feel guilty, however I don’t understand why.

DEIDRE SAYS: When someone we were once close to dies, many old emotions are revisited.

You can expect to feel sad and upset and it’s normal to feel some guilt too.

The history you shared with your ex doesn’t disappear when they die, so it’s important to grieve even when they’re no longer a part of your life.

My support pack Coping With Bereavement will help you.