Finding love as a gay man in the modern dating scene feels impossible

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM a gay guy who cannot find a boyfriend.

I have met numerous men in the past and get on brilliantly with them, but most say they only want to have some casual fun.

As soon as I ask to start seeing them on a more regular basis, or they sense I am beginning to develop feelings, they scarper.

Why is modern dating so cruel?

Lately I have been on gay websites. The guys start to chat and everything seems to be going well.

I get my hopes up, thinking this time it will be ­different but then, without warning, they either block or ghost me.

Being repeatedly rejected really hurts. I am 39. I have a good job and a flat.

I only have a couple of friends but when it comes to ­relationships it’s a disaster.

I feel very lonely and find it hard to make new friends. It’s as if everyone is ignoring me lately.

I can’t help but wonder if there is something unloveable about me.

How do I get people to be interested in me and find a boyfriend?

DEIDRE SAYS: Many people, regardless of their sexuality, find it difficult to meet partners. Invariably, when a fling finishes it is because one person is not ready to fully commit yet – not because there is something wrong with the other person.

Instead of spending too much time on dating websites, try getting involved in your community. Maybe join some local clubs and societies.

Focusing on your interests means that you end up socialising with like-minded people.

Get involved in voluntary work where you often make friends first, rather than simply hunting for a partner.

Some of them are bound to be gay. My support packs Gay Resources and Finding The Right Partner For You should also help.