God hides in the heart

What do young people think about religion? The 2023 edition of Mail & Guardian’s God edition wanted to find out. 

We, two young video journalists, set out to ask people under the age of 35 to speak candidly about their religious beliefs (or lack thereof), their struggles with those beliefs, their sexuality and how they are moulded by the dominant belief systems in their communities. 

That is a mouthful and when we began this exercise that is exactly what we faced. We wanted to reach young people from all spheres of life. We wanted to turn Johannesburg upside down, trying to find them so we can give them a platform to tell us who God is to them.  

We went out looking for answers, but we returned with even more questions. 

One of the lessons was that there is still so much work to be done in ensuring that people are allowed to truly be themselves without fear of being judged by others.  

We thought that young people would be forthcoming about religion and spirituality because of the times we are in. Our country is in turmoil and young people’s futures are at stake, so we thought we would find them with fire boiling in their stomachs, but we were humbled by what we encountered. 

The moment we hit the streets we realised that it is becoming taboo to discuss their religion and spirituality in relation to sexuality, especially in front of a video camera. 

This was interesting, because young people are the main reason Tik Tok overnight (okay, maybe over five years) became a multi-billion rand company. This is the place where mainly young people share their thoughts, emotions and views.

We met a young man, very colourful and full of energy. As we laid our pitch, his mood suddenly changed. 

He said, “I can’t do it, I can’t tell you how I see God as a young gay man because I have not yet come out to my family.”

The sadness and fear in his voice was overwhelming. 

Off camera, he said he is afraid that he has no place in the church nor does he have a place or space to practise African spirituality. He believes that neither would accept who he is. 

He spoke about how this has left a void in his life and how he has no anchor and no altar to pray to so he can connect with his ancestors — and he feels they may not know who he is. 

“I am just living because I am alive,” he said. 

Many other people’s experiences of God have been marred by judgment over their sexuality. This has caused them to live in secrecy. 

One of the potential interviewees said they were happy to be in Joburg, far away from home. In the smokey city they can openly be in same sex relationships. But at home their choices in love remain hidden. Being in front of a camera was a no-go area out of fear of offending their family. Living a double life is the only choice they have. 

Others told us that spirituality is a personal and sacred journey that should not be discussed in front of a camera. 

We met a woman in her mid-twenties and she said, “I grew up in a household that practises African spirituality; that’s our religion. That’s all I know. Ngiya phahla. Ngishisa impepho. Ngithandaza emfuleni [Now if I am seen saying these things on camera as a young person in a corporation, they will say I use witchcraft].” 

She said there is a stigma attached to people who solely believe in and practise African spirituality. “We are not easily accepted by society,” she said. 

“I am not ashamed of my spiritual beliefs. However, I am also not in a position to be excluded when all I want is to make a living for myself and my family. That is sadly what it comes down to.”  

Young people are believers. They are just hindered by circumstances that they regard as beyond their control, which is why many are secret believers. 

In this video series, we wanted them to be heard. But this steel metal that captures images at a specific frame rate per second was standing between us and their voices. 

Those who did speak to us, gave a glimpse into the world of young people who believe, whether in Christianity, Islam, Buddhism or African spirituality. There are many others who don’t and their voices are important too. But we believe everyone is fighting to find their own kind of understanding of this world and why they are here.