How this beautiful Ted Lasso scene captured the 'ache' of being a gay man in professional sports
Warning: DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED EPISODE 6 OF TED LASSO SEASON 3.
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Welcome back to Ted Lasso on For The Win! Each week of the 12-episode season, we will chat about the latest episode in the Ted Lasso universe. Let’s dig into it.
Some Ted Lasso fans were initially concerned that journalist Trent Crimm would “out” AFC Richmond wing Colin Hughes after initially discovering his sexuality earlier this season. It took a few episodes, but we finally got our answer.
Colin (portrayed by Billy Harris, who made his TV debut with this show) was also skeptical when he discovered that Trent (played by James Lance) was at the gay bar that the Richmond footballer snuck out to attend. But he eventually realized that the writer is approaching this conversation with good faith.
It was an important conversation for Colin and Trent, who was potentially the first person in sports he had ever spoken to about his sexuality.
THE RELIEF ON COLIN'S FACE WHEN HE REALIZED pic.twitter.com/qt5PdSSwZp
— elena | ted lasso spoilers (@sudeiking) April 19, 2023
Trent and Colin eventually made their way to the Homomonument, a memorial in Amsterdam that commemorates all LGBTQ+ individuals who lost their lives in World War II and who have been persecuted due to their sexual orientation.
Trent, who revealed that he is also gay and has the support of his family, gave Colin an opportunity to share his truth.
They spoke about the ache — such a powerful word — that they have each felt. Trent, formerly of The Independent and now independently writing a book about Richmond much like Grant Wahl did with the L.A. Galaxy, did not take out his microphone or his notebook. He just listened.
The writer allowed Colin to feel comfortable enough to open up and share details about his experience as a privately gay athlete playing at the highest levels in the English Premier League.
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I could talk about the beauty & significance of this scene for DAYS. Living a double life… it feels safe, like you’re protecting the parts of yourself you know are still so raw, but it’s so painfully lonely.
This left me in tears, and feeling a little less alone. #tedlasso pic.twitter.com/cj2z3VAOp7
— alyssa (spoilers, babes) (@theolasso) April 19, 2023
Trent shared that it was “really difficult” for him to hold on to his secret.
“I’m not a professional athlete,” Trent said. “How do you do it?”
Colin detailed how he essentially has to live two lives — one is his work life, where he has kept his sexuality a secret, and one is his dating life. He explained that his work in therapy with Dr. Sharon helped him realize how much this divide has hurt him. Why can’t they be the same life?
“I don’t want to be a spokesperson. I don’t want a bunch of apologies. All I want is for when we win a match to be able to kiss my fella the same way that guys get to kiss their girls,” Colin said. “I know we can’t fix every ache inside of us. But I shouldn’t have to pretend it’s not there, either.”
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There are plenty of gay athletes who are speaking out and leading the way to advocate for social progress, but as Colin explained, some folks simply don’t want the attention. This is one of the many reasons there are few openly gay male athletes in pro sports. From Cyd Ziegler:
“Some athletes don’t want their being gay or bi to be part of how they’re most-known. For that reason, some of these men will choose to keep that part of their life private… which delays when they won’t feel they have to anymore.”
We had more openly LGBTQ+ athletes at the 2021 Olympics than ever before, and we’re seeing more and more openly gay men playing at the professional level.
Although the English musician Sam Smith identifies as non-binary and genderqueer, when they were asked about their sexuality in 2014, they said they don’t want to be a spokesperson — they only wanted to live their life and write music about it.
So if all Colin wants to do is live his life and play football, that is what he deserves as well.
this is going to be In My Dreams i cannot get over them pic.twitter.com/WbAc03RfDb
— ted lasso spoilers (@checotism) April 19, 2023
The catharsis and euphoria that these two individuals share when they’ve landed on the same page and can just be themselves is so powerful — and looks so fun.
It is wonderful to see that type of male friendship depicted on TV, no matter the context. But the gay male friendship in the world of sports on a show as big as Ted Lasso was even more powerful.
I’m a professional sportswriter. One of my goals in my career is to earn the trust of the subjects that I’m writing about. This episode nailed that.
trent and colin are the best duo my heart can’t take it pic.twitter.com/sVp6JncDYm
— tayla ted lasso spoilerz (@sudeikislovebot) April 19, 2023
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But to accomplish this is not easy and requires a certain level of empathy, catching someone at the right time, and presenting yourself as someone who is willing and able to connect on a human-to-human level. It is an incredibly delicate balance and candidly, it does not always work.
It was so moving to watch how well Trent Crimm accomplished all of that (and more) during his heart-to-heart conversation with Colin Hughes.
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