Cris Collinsworth dropped the most unhinged NFL mock draft imaginable

What the heck is this?

Calling mock drafting an “imprecise science” is a disservice to scientists. It’s more like throwing a bucket of darts at a board like you’re a human shotgun, then preening when four of them manage to stick. That said, all mock drafts should contain some sort of basic internal logic — alternatively you can be like Cris Collinsworth.

Collinsworth appeared on the Pro Football Focus pre-draft show on Tuesday and dropped one of the wildest mock drafts of the season.

The Thursday Night Football broadcaster made justifications for each of his picks, but some were paper thin. Let’s break down what makes no damn sense here.

Hendon Hooker to the Chiefs?!

I totally get that fans tend to look at picks in the last 20s and 30s as depth throwaways for playoff teams, but they’re absolutely not for the teams involved. In a draft like 2023 where there isn’t a huge amount of 1st round talent and a lot of really good guys, why the hell would the Chiefs take a QB?

Collinsworth’s justification is about risk mitigation in case Patrick Mahomes goes down. Okay ... so do it in the fourth round. Hendon Hooker isn’t going to come and save a Chiefs season in Mahomes gets hurt. Nobody in the NFL could step in and save Kansas City if Mahomes goes down.

If you want to talk about threat mitigation then why not take Notre Dame TE Michael Mayer? Collinsworth has Mayer falling out of the first round when nobody else does. Not only would it give Mahomes another weapon in the passing game immediately, but Travis Kelce is 33-years-old and the second most important player on the team after Mahomes. It’s time to start thinking about having a plan at that position, and

This is easily one of the most mystifying picks I have seen in any mock draft thus far.

What are we even doing with these tackles, dude?

There’s a tossup argument to be made when it comes to the two top offensive linemen in this draft. Paris Johnson Jr. was the favorite for much of the pre-draft season, and Peter Skoronski came on late, especially for teams that could use a hybrid guard/tackle in their system.

Somehow Collinsworth has Dawand Jones and Anton Harrison going before Skoronski. He has the No. 3 tackle in the class, Broderick Jones, falling out of the first round all together.

Maybe he got Dawand Jones (the No. 63 prospect on our top 200 big board) confused with Broderick Jones? Broderick is 15th on our board, and that’s the only possible way that this one makes sense.

Corners go where?

This draft has two really incredible corners at the top of the class. Both Devon Witherspoon and Christian Gonzalez are poised to be standout NFL players. Also, cornerback tends to be pretty important — hell, last year we saw Derek Stingley Jr. and Sauce Gardner go at No. 3 and No. 4 respectively.

So why the hell does Collinsworth have Witherspoon and Gonzalez falling to No. 14 and No. 16? On what planet do the Lions and Raiders not jump on these guys in the top 10 when they are glaring needs to take pass rushers. Sure, Detroit added in free agency — but this also assumed Tyree Wilson is there at No. 6, which doesn’t feel like it’s going to happen either.

Hold up... Anthony Johnson Jr. is in this mock?

He’s not even in our top 200 prospects and is regarded as a day three pick. Did the Raiders ghost write this?

Levis to the Lions?

I would not be surprised by a Levis fall. I also wouldn’t be surprised is Dan Campbell isn’t downing a big scoop of creatine and loving his film. That said, this feels like the product of a mock without any trades.

I can’t imagine a scenario where Levis is falling into the high teens and someone doesn’t trade up to get him. Right now the Lions don’t have the support structure in place to completely coach up a project quarterback like Levis, and there’s no reason to prioritize the position with Jared Goff playing so well.

This is the prime spot to get someone line Nolan Smith, or even Joey Porter Jr., assuming they don’t go CB with the No. 6 pick.

Pick 2, 3 and 4 are a total mess

We don’t need to dwell on this.

1. All signs point to the Texans not taking a QB at No. 2
2. All signs point to the Cardinals liking Tyree Wilson better than Will Anderson Jr.
3. All signs point to the Colts liking Will Levis more than Anthony Richardson

So why aren’t one of these things happening?